Chapter 16) Love, Manifested

Be wise enough not to be reckless,
but brave enough to take great risks.
~Frank Warren

Windenburg
Blaine 31, Viktoria 30, Anastasia 4, Charlie 3

So much has happened again since I last wrote. Hopefully I can still get it all scraped together in some sort of sensical way from all the corners of my mind.

Blaine’s fame took off, which at first glance may sound uber-cool, but was hell to live, at least for a somewhat more introverted type like me who despised public attention. Wherever we went, fans would flock to him, faint all over the place, scream into Blaine’s solo and our duet performances and into my ears at bars and restaurants. Plus those paparazzi. Oof!

Of course there were also still those fangirl women – my kryptonite – just as before they were so forward with their offers, I could be right next to Blaine, it was just as if I were invisible. Even if Blaine would demonstratively shower me with affection right in front of them, it did not deter them one bit. Several times I could not help but talk sense into them, futile attempts that changed nothing. Obnoxious does not begin to cover it. As proud as I was of Blaine, and I was and am, this did not make me happy.

We went out for our anniversary, five years now, meaning Anya was four years old, or better put: we tried to celebrate like normal couples. It had started out so romantic, but before long the fans found us and ruined everything.

The romantic meal at the restaurant was a hot mess, the karaoke bar was a game of fan-dodgeball, we tried a cafe and I was just so annoyed by fans staring at us from every angle, in my frustration I demanded to go home. That was when Blaine saw a flyer for the Romance Festival in San Myshuno, he insisted we try there, and we ended up renewing our wedding vows and having lots of fun. That guy. Yeah, swoon. Still.

Around us many things changed, evolved if you so will.
Much to everyone’s great surprise Penny ended up pregnant and not only decided to go through with the pregnancy, but was also very recently engaged, naturally in true Penny fashion her fiancé was not to the father of her baby. I could not tell if he was aware of that fact, all I know was that I would keep my mouth nice and shut about that, Blaine agreed. We had no dog in that fight.

The baby’s father had been a one night stand as she had confided in me, she barely recalled more than the name, Mark Eggleston. She had informed him about the result from their time between the sheets growing within her now, not surprisingly he was not keen on doing a thing more than pay child support, which suited Penny just fine, she was well through with him and not at all interested having him part of her and her child’s lives.

Her fiance was Ulysses Braxton, Justin Delgato’s ex. Not at all my or Blaine’s cup of tea, but as long as Penny was happy with him that was all that mattered. They seemed happy, almost sickeningly so, which was very unlike Penny.

Justin had meanwhile remarried, this time his former wife and mother of his children, moved back to the home in Brindleton Bay. All righty then.

Venessa Jeong had married Knox Greenburg and was ‘knoxed up’, sorry, little Blaine joke inserted here. They seemed happy. Sadly they lived in Del Sol Valley and we saw them rarely. A very cute couple, really sweet together.

Caleb was dating again.
Yeah yeah, I know what you are thinking, what else was new, right? Well, new was that this time it was because of me playing matchmaker.

I introduced him to a hostess at a restaurant I had run into, adorable thing by the name of Cassandra Goth – I know right? That name alone already – anyway she was just the right kind of dark and sweet, just like Caleb, she just struck me as a perfect match for him and after some disheartening slow as molasses start, they hit it off.

Caleb had been pouring himself so much into the father role he had assumed for his nephew that I felt it was a shame for him not to be a husband and father himself one day or at least get a fair chance, so I burdened myself with entertaining his sister and nephew several times to get them out of his hair.

I knew Caleb was working that Cassandra angle hard. But when we actually saw him pop the question I just about fell over. Blaine too.

Blaine originally had nothing but jokes about my efforts to get Caleb to hook up with someone more steadily than before. Just you wait, there will be an invitation to the creepiest wedding on record soon, I bet you. Especially if those two would keep ‘celebrating’ their engagement all over the place as they had been doing.

So now you are caught up to all the drama surrounding Blaine and me, back to our own mess.

I like to consider myself being reasonable, committed and responsible. I have to be, since Blaine usually lacks a bit in some of those departments, although you will be hard pressed to find a more committed husband and father than that former wild boy.

Maybe because he lived it up for so long he now preferred the quiet structure of family life, while other men (and women) may have gone the more traditional route and wake up some day wondering if they are missing out.

Anyway, you probably already know me well enough to know that I am not one for idle banter.
So why would I be rambling on about how responsible I usually am?
Well, because even I slip up. And if I do, it usually has lasting effects.

In a roundabout way I am telling you that I am pregnant again.
Yeah … Doh!

Was it planned this time?
Ha ha ha – hell no! Far from it! But we did a whole lot of nothing to prevent it either.
I cannot tell you exactly why or what, but somewhere between Anastasia’s third and forth birthday my libido spiked like crazy, and Blaine’s never waned.
Bad mix.
Really bad mix.
Unless of course you like breeding children well beyond your financial means. We didn’t. At least not on purpose.
So much for me priding myself in never repeating mistakes.
I would love to tell you it was all Blaine’s fault, but I’d be lying. I jumped his bones more than vice versa this time around.
So, yeah.
Point those fingers my direction.

And come on, before you get all judgy on me, have you seen my husband?! Most straight women with a pulse would not be able to resist that. At least not for long. Speaking from experience here.

So, whenever the baby was finally asleep or we had a sitter, it did not matter where we were, we ended up doing it. Pardon my candor, but I just assume you know what it takes for babies to happen.
We did that thing soooo much.
So so much.
Way too much.

All over our home, in restaurant bathrooms, hidden areas of public parks, dark corners in and outside of bars and clubs, even in Penny’s apartment and Caleb’s creepy-cozy home, … you name it, we did it there. Of course we were discreet.
Well, discreetish.
We did our best.

At some point we had run out of condoms, Windenburg being what it was with that exaggerated small town charm, which just translated to all stores being closed after a certain hour, while our – ahem – increased need for them had no time limit, so we chanced it. Once.
And just never bothered after that.
Somewhere in our brains the contorted idea had popped up that I was on birth control, which I was religious about taking, we were married and true to each other, that should be enough, right?
Wrong!
Of course wrong.
And foolish.

We should have known better as that was exactly how we ended up conceiving our little Anastasia, me on the pill and Blaine not using condoms a few times, and here we were again.
Adding insult to injury was that I had just gotten my body back to what it was like before my last pregnancy and then some, with Blaine’s help. Oh, I had worked so hard to get into kickass shape. And now – this.
Argh!
Damn me, my urges and that sexy, irresistible husband of mine.

Blaine’s happy lil swimmers were apparently so potent that we needed to double up contraceptives or end up where we were now again. After this child we would both get fixed permanently to avoid any more accidental conceptions.

No, we do not know the gender yet, as I write this it is way too early to know. The rest of this glorious mess was pretty much the same as before. Blaine was mostly amused by the mishap, while I was freaking out.

Nobody else knew yet about the new pregnancy, just Blaine and me, much like the first time around and I had hammered into Blaine’s skull to keep his mouth shut this time.

How did we feel about the outlook of doing all we had already been through with Ana all over again for a second time?
Depends on which day you asked us about it, as it greatly depended on our toddler’s form any given moment.

Anastasia was a smart and active girl, but she did not lack confidence or temperament, I even dare say temper on occasion, so some days were the head-banging-into-wall variety where we were almost tempted to sell her highest bidding.

Then there were other days on which Blaine and I were reduced to puddles of goo about how adorable and sweet our little girl was, where we could not be prouder and felt like we wanted a solid dozen just like her.

Hypothetically speaking of course! One of her was plenty on most days, two would already be much more than we ever bargained for and probably more than we could handle without losing what little was left of our minds.

Oh boy. What had we gotten ourselves into again?

And naturally, just like the first time, we had just saved up a nice lump of money for a rainy day, amongst it for college one day for Anya, when we realized there would be another baby and need for an addition to the house. Lucky for us it would be a fairly simple one, but once more it would leave us with little more than the bare minimum financially.

Anya was a demanding child, headstrong already at this tender age, questioning everything, so neither Blaine nor I got much done beyond our regular work to make money.

Then there was still our precious mutt Charlie, needing walks and attention as well.

It would not have been fair to shortchange that sweet goober now, especially since he was very helpful in coraling that little Energizer bunny that was our daughter.

Each night both Blaine and I would fall into bed just seconds away from passing out on the floor somewhere, we were amazed and surprised ourselves that we managed the energy at some point for all the nookie to create another baby.

AN.: All lots featured in the pictures are in my Gallery.