Chapter 133) Déjà vu

This love is bittersweet.
It’s always incomplete.
Right now you’re killing me ’cause everything that you say, and every time that you stay, I see that now you have changed and I’m the one that you blame.

Escape the Fate

Oasis Springs
Vecchiarelli residence

The plastic bag in his hand was rattling like a soundtrack of expectation as he knocked on the heavy wooden door again.

Finally, at long last, he heard unlocking sounds echo on the inside, shortly after, it swung open to reveal Lorenzo Vecchiarelli. Blaine couldn’t help his face show a moment of surprise.

Every time he had seen Vecchiarelli before he had been meticulously groomed and dressed, today he had stubble that was several days past a five o’clock shadow and made him look as dirty as he reeked, of sweat, day-old clothing and lots of alcohol.

“Yeah?” he inquired now, not even pretending to be welcoming, his voice slurred, Blaine was briefly rendered breathless as a cloud of alcohol engulfed him with greedy grip.

“Uh – hi. Sorry to stop by unannounced but I had some last minute travel to the area come up and was hoping I could see my daughter for a moment … got her a little gift and …” Blaine explained carefully, briefly holding up the plastic bag he was carrying, but didn’t get to finish his sentence.

“With her mother. Not here.” was the abrupt reply, Blaine was rendered breathless by the amount of alcohol on he man’s breath.

“And where would her mother be with her then? At the castle? When will they be back?” he tried again, already annoyed, running out of nice fast.

“Not her secretary!” Lorenzo slurred angrily.

“Look, dude, I am trying to be nice here. Vivien is my daughter, I don’t like the idea much of her being around some rancid-reeking alcoholic, or are your showers broke and you tried taking a bath in a tub of bourbon instead?! I have a legal right to know where Vivien is, I didn’t force you to marry her mother, but you did and I am just part of that package! So, quit being a cunt – and for fuck’s sake, take a breath mint!”

“Get off my property and get lost, cazzo!” Lorenzo barked, the last word obviously an Italian insult, then the door was slammed into Blaine’s face, who recovered during the echo.

“What the fuckity fuck was that shit now?! Oh, Scarlett, what did you do now, girl?” he mumbled to himself, then turned and walked back to the car he had borrowed from his cousin.

Forgotten Hollow
Vatore Castle

About 45 minutes later he found himself knocking on yet another door, once more it took ages for someone to acknowledge him, and when the door was finally opened, he was greeted by yet another grumpy expression. This time it was Scarlett’s younger brother, Caelan, he and Blaine just had always had some sort of quarrel with one another. Both young men let out an annoyed sound almost simultaneously.

“The hell you want here?!” Caelan demanded, his tone and stance unfriendly and unwelcoming.

“Not see your ugly mug, that’s for sure. Is my daughter here?” Blaine matched Caelan’s rude tone.

“You know Scarlett is married now, right?” Caelan’s tone was gleeful and delivered with a matching smirk, obviously trying to instigate, watching Blaine’s reaction closely.

“Thanks for the update, you fanged social timeline, but you are way behind, I did know that. That’s where I went first, the husband’s villa, fucker had to crawl out of a whiskey bottle to tell me she wasn’t there, so here I am, not in the mood for more runarounds by a snot-nosed wanna-be vampire bigshot whom I have known since you could barely look over a table top and liked to dress up as Superman, so is my daughter here or not?!”

“Well, maybe she is. But Vivien is also MY niece and may be asleep. And you can’t see Scarlett. She wants no piece of you anymore, you arrogant prick, not after how you played her, you douche! She had more than enough heartbreak of late, doesn’t need any more from you, you nasty pile of decomposing flesh!”

“CAELAN! Unbelievable!” a second, firmer voice echoed, a hand appeared slapping Caelan in the back of his head, then Caleb Vatore appeared in Blaine’s line of sight.

“Young Blaine, come on inside. Pardon my son, he should probably go hibernate, maybe rest will help him recall his upbringing as a polite, kind and hospitable young man. On that note, may I offer you a coffee, young Blaine?” Caleb pulled Blaine inside, while shooting his son angry glances.

“Uh – nah thanks. I am looking for Scarlett, or more specifically, my daughter. I already checked with Vecchiarelli, but was told neither of them were there so I came here.”

“Right. Why don’t you come with me into the lounge, so I can catch you up. ALONE!” the last word was aimed at Caelan, who had been curiously following them, then stopped on a dime, while Caleb had lead Blaine into the living room, where he now shut the door, then offered Blaine a seat.

“You see, young Blaine, there have been some unfortunate developments. I know things have sort of gone awry between you and my daughter, but I trust you were aware that Scarlett was expecting a child by her husband?”

“Yeah, sure I .. wait a minute. Was? Oh, please don’t tell me …”

“Yes, sad news, unfortunately. A late miscarriage, she was almost 6 months along, happened a few days ago now, she still needs rest, lots of it, is very emotionally unstable. My poor little girl. Vecchiarelli is a hot mess too, it killed him too, but I am worried that their marriage took a bad hit when the wrong things were said at the most inopportune time, as it often happens under stress.”

“Oh shit! Scarlett …” Blaine mumbled, shaking his head, his heart ached at the thought of Scarlett going through this.

When Caleb said nothing, Blaine looked up and continued

“I … am … so sorry. Sounds lame, but I honestly do not know what else to say here. I had a surprise trip to San Myshuno flung at me last minute, that’s why I am here, was just wanting to see Vivien for a moment, but I guess you could give her this from me. A new book with a bunny in it, she loves bunnies. I didn’t mean to impose on you. I just had no idea what everyone was going through.” Blaine held up the bag.

“You aren’t a bother at all, and you are Vivien’s father, of course you can see her. I am a father myself, obviously, and fully understand the wish to see your daughter as much as you can. Just go on upstairs, I am certain you remember the way. Vivien was playing with my wife earlier, so she may be tuckered out, but I am sure a new book with bunnies in it and seeing her daddy will give her a second wind, at least for a little while. Congratulations on your son, by the way. I know the little boy is several months old now, but our paths haven’t crossed until now for me to relay my congratulations. Children are a blessing.”

Blaine thanked Caleb, then left the room and made his way up the stairs and to his daughter’s room. Vivien was sleepy, but very excited to see her dad, just as Caleb had predicted, wanted him to read the new book with her right away, they barely made it past the second page when Blaine noticed she was out cold.

Kissing his daughter on the forehead gave him an odd feeling of melancholy for multiple reasons.

Nearly sneaking out of Vivien’s room, he quietly shut the door behind himself and started to head for the stairs, when his eyes fell on Scarlett’s door. A melancholic smile appeared on his face when he remembered the times they had snuck up here together many years ago now. His feet seemed to have developed a mind of their own, carrying him to her door, he knocked briefly, when there was no answer he hesitated, then entered anyway.

He found Scarlett curled up on her bed, she looked every bit as miserable as you would expect, for a split-second Blaine acknowledged that all the photos of him and her together from all the years they had known each other were still all over her walls, giving him a funny feeling, as if he had travelled back in time. Scarlett now noticed him, quietly called out his name, jumped up and ran straight into his arms, he caught her, held her tight as she cried hard into his shoulder. They just stood there for an undetermined amount of time, her infrequent sobs, causing her whole slender, tall body to shake, which drove tiny daggers into Blaine’s heart, making him feel helpless and useless.

“Sorry. That was inappropriate. I know that.” she said quietly when the tears had seized.

“It wasn’t. We’re friends, you are going through some rough shit. I am always here for you and you know it. I can’t believe you didn’t let me know. Your dad just told me. Oh Scarlett …”

“Because we are not friends, remember? We had a talk about that … it didn’t seem right to run to you of all people with this.”

“No. You and your stubborn head decided that we can’t be friends, at least not until you said it was okay. I am still your friend, whether you like it or not.”

“Oh, Blaine. I just cannot ever win. Everything’s in shambles again. All I wanted was to finally be happy.”

“I know, and I am so very sorry it didn’t work out for you. I wish there was something I could do. Your dad told me about the baby, I am so very sorry.”

“That is only the beginning. You know what, Blaine? I am almost glad I lost her. Yeah, you heard me. I am heartbroken to have lost her, but also glad. Still want to be friends with a monster like me?”

“Yes, I very much want to be friends with you. And Scarlett, you’re just in shock and in pain, that doesn’t make you a monster. I know you don’t mean it.”

“I DO mean it! You know what that bastard said to me when he came to see me at the hospital – finally – after I went through it all alone cos he couldn’t be bothered to pick up his fucking phone?! He said, cara mia, that’s all right. Doctor said you can still have children, so in a couple weeks we can try again and maybe this time it will even be a boy. Can you believe that?! I am glad now that I do not share a child with that asshole! He was lucky I was so weak or I would have …”

“Shhh … calm down. He’s a goddamn douchebag! What an insensitive prick!”

“Dad said he probably didn’t mean it, was just in so much pain and didn’t know what else to say to make me feel better, but I don’t care, Blaine. I love my dad, but even if that were true, I still think Lorenzo is a dick! I told him I never wanted to see him again! He’s probably out celebrating to be rid of me, I turned out to not be the sub-servant wifey he had probably hoped I would be, HA! Me. I set him straight, you better believe that. By now he probably is shopping for a new woman so he can finally get that heir he wants so badly. I am sure he’ll revoke all my IDs, if he hasn’t already. Back to square one, just more humiliated than before.”

“I can’t say I am gonna shed a tear for that cunt, but honestly, when I saw him, he looked like shit, he’s pretty miserable himself and was just drunk and filthy. I don’t think he would have much luck trying to date like that, not even the most desperate of chicks would touch him with a ten foot pole, even if you pinned dollar bills all over him. He’s hurting too, for what it’s worth. Regardless, I agree, what he said – for whatever reason – was inexcusable. You deserve better, Scarlett. I always thought that, even when everyone was just swooning over his macho ass, including you. I saw right through him and knew he was a dick.”

“Oh really?! Then why didn’t you ever say something to me about your doubts, you so-called friend?!”

“Because you were so head over heels for him, and also still pissed at me, you wouldn’t have listened to me anyway. You would have probably assumed I was just jealous and jumped in even faster than you already did.”

“And, were you?”

“Were I what?”

“Jealous.”

“Scarlett …”

“Tell me. Were you … jealous? At least a little bit? The truth, Blaine, I really need to hear it now. You said you wished you could do something to make me better. This is something you can do.”

“What good would that do either of us? Besides, we are supposed to be friends. Friends don’t say such shit to each other.”

“Answer me!”

“Okay, fine. You want to truth? Here goes. Yes, I was jealous, very much so actually, even though I knew I had no right to. Still, I wanted to rip that slimy old douche’s dick off and beat him bloody with it every time his nasty face latched on to yours. I still want to Lysol you top to bottom now to get every last bit of him off you. There. Feel better now?”

“Actually I do. I was jealous too, of what you had, of you choosing Bristol over me, even though I don’t blame you one bit, you are the perfect couple, you look perfect, act perfect, have the perfect baby, live a perfect life in a perfect house, everything about the two of you is just always perfect, which is the only reason I did what I did. Including the baby. I thought if I tried hard enough, I would have what you and Bri have, and it started out promising. Lorenzo isn’t a bad man, can be very sweet, but he’s not the right man for me. His views about relationships and life and mine just do not line up at all. And if I am really brutally honest, I only used him. I liked him and I liked being with him, but that wasn’t love, that was spite. Yeah, I am that kind of asshole, Blaine. I guess I was shown what happens when you toy with marriage and children. And I also guess I deserve what I got. I am sure I will value that life lesson once it quit hurting.”

“Scarlett, don’t be so hard on yourself. Many people have done stupid stuff out of hurt price and unrequited love. It’s wrong, but also human behavior. Doesn’t make you an asshole in my book, not at all.”

“Is it then? Unrequited?”

“You know I can’t answer that without losing respect for myself.”

“I just want to hear it once. Only once. Please, tell me to my face that all we had is complete gone … or tell me it’s still there. I just really need to hear it – if only once. It’ll make a world of difference to me and nobody will ever know about it. I swear.”

“Okay, fine. If it helps you through this, no, it’s not unrequited. I tried. I honestly tried, but I cannot get over you. I still love you, just like before, if not even more now, but as you told me so many times, we can’t be together, so I had to move on. I love Bri, and our son, but you will always hold a special place in my heart, regardless what happens between us. I can’t change that, and truth be told, I don’t know if I would if I had the option. You belong there, in my heart, firmly and irrevocably. Even if all we can be is friends.”

Scarlett leaned forward, for a second Blaine was afraid she would kiss him, but instead she gave him a gentle peck on the cheek.

“Thank you. This made a world of difference to me. Truly, thank you, Blaine. You really are the best friend this girl could wish for. Thanks for being so stubborn. And thank you for knowing what I needed when I didn’t. I do feel a little better already. Because of you.”

They stared at each other in silence for a while, as if in a sort of trance, both lightyears away from reality, teens again and college kids, wondering on what could have been if they had been given a real chance.

Clearing his throat, yet his voice still oddly scratchy, Blaine finally said

“I better get going. I borrowed Jamie’s car and he may need it back, was just supposed to be for an hour or so. I brought a new bunny book for Vivien, she’s asleep by the way.”

“Bye Blaine…” he simple, quiet words cut like a knife into Blaine’s heart.

He made the mistake of looking at her, seeing the pain and loneliness in her eyes, he couldn’t help himself.

“Scarlett, if you need to talk, I am staying at the Grand Skyview Hotel downtown San Myshuno. Bri couldn’t come, Blake was running a slight fever, nothing too concerning, but he couldn’t travel and she wasn’t going to leave him …”

San Myshuno
Grand Skyview Hotel

After he returned to the hotel, he was wrapped up in his thoughts, memories, worries. He hated seeing Scarlett like this, she did not deserve it. Why could such a beautiful person just not find real love, the way she deserved?

While dwelling on it there was a knock on the door. He went to answer and there she was, as if he had willed her into reality. He said nothing, she didn’t speak, they kissed, never even stopped as he pulled her inside with him while blindly shutting the door. When she pulled away from him, she demonstratively slowly undid the knotted belt of her trench coat only to reveal sexy lacy lingerie below.

The rest was history repeating itself ….

TO BE CONTINUED