Chapter 142) Prelude To A Decision

The worst part of life is waiting.
The best part of life is to have someone worth waiting for.

unknown

Del Sol Valley
Cameron Mansion

Scarlett halted, when after a brief search through an empty downstairs, she found Blaine standing in the upstairs living room, a casual place where the family usually watched movies and where close friends would hang out without having to worry about the fine upholstery and carpets in the formal living area.

It gave her a pleasant jolt of electricity instantly followed by an intense fear of losing him when she saw her own name tattooed across his broad shoulders, clearly visible through the tank top he was wearing. It took her back to the day he had it done, her being right there holding his hand through it all. Initially the appointment had been to get a cover-up tat for his ex-wife’s name on his arm, but while at the tattoo parlor Blaine surprised Scarlett with a design to add her name in large letters to his back, along with meaningful symbols and words.

It had been days that felt like years since she had last seen him, or spoken to him, that afternoon they had the last fight, and it felt like she hadn’t seen him, touched him, felt him, smelled that masculine scent so particular to him which she secretly adored.
Right after she and Maeve had been done talking, once the last tears had dried, Scarlett had immediately gone to talk to Blaine about everything, but all she found was a note left in his wake, saying he had gone to spend some time away.

Her first instinct had been to check with Kai and Blaine’s cousins Jamie and Jordan to see if he was there, but Maeve’s words resounded in her head, about acknowledging and respecting each other’s need for space sometimes. Evidently Blaine didn’t want to see her, needed to get away, so she hung back. But now he had returned. Not a single text or call while he was gone, and evidently not once he returned either. It stung. Clearly, Blaine was upset. VERY much so.

Carefully she entered the room.

“Hi.” she offered gently as she approached him.

“Hey.” he replied, his tone neutral.

“Mind if I join you?” she asked while watching him carelessly drop into the cushions of one of the couches in the room, the ice cubes in his glass clinking.

“Nope.” was his one-syllable reply, while deliberately manspreading.

“You still mad at me?” she inquired while sitting down next to him anyway.

“Yup.” he admitted, then took a healthy sip of his drink.

“Hm. I wanted to talk to you about all that. We really need to talk Blaine. Maybe we could go somewhere, just us, some place we can talk private, no interruptions.”

“Agreed on the talk, but not gonna happen today and definitely not anywhere ‘private’. If you got something to say that can’t wait, say it. Otherwise, we’ll have that talk whenever I am mentally and physically able to again. Right now my brain is marinated in alcohol. In other words, my thinker isn’t working, so knowing us, I’d just agree to anything you’d say hoping you take your clothes off, but won’t recall nothing come tomorrow. Also means, if we go somewhere private now we just end up fucking and nothing gets resolved, as usual. We can have that easier, right here, near my best friend for the night, Jim .. or Jack … ah, fucking label is too blurry now, who cares anyway, it’s working, brain’s no longer in permanent overdrive.” Blaine slurred his words, now Scarlett noticed the empty bottle on the floor, an unopened one on the table and the one he was currently working on, the scent of hard liquor filling the air.

“Have you been drinking all day?” she asked, a rhetorical question as the answer was more than obvious, intended mostly to feel out Blaine’s overall mood.

“With great enthusiasm. Finishing off all the cheap booze dad hoarded for the last few parties, they weren’t used, so I am getting rid of them for him. Mom only likes wine and dad likes his fine bourbon, not this radiator fluid. I arrived at ‘who the fuck cares?” right after I got up in a completely empty house and my brain was taking me places I really don’t want to be.” he admitted.

“Oh Blaine …”

“What? I think if anyone ever had reason to … definitely ME and definitely now.”

“What do you mean?”

“What I mean is that I am done with this bullshit, Scarlett. I am tired of it all. My career is strenuous, trying to dodge the pitfalls with the media, the paparazzi and overzealous fans is exhausting, trying to raise two healthy, happy kids in this environment with their mothers both neither here nor there isn’t helping, fucking Bri called, just had her baby and asked to skip Blake’s visit next week until she recovered, which is gonna make him cry, Vivien started to become a rebellious teen which is gonna make me cry, I just don’t have it in me anymore to keep chasing my tail with you.”

“Are you breaking up with me?”

“I’ll let you know once I am sober again. Don’t wait up, though, it’s gonna be a while.” he finished his response with a loud burp.

“Jeeze Blaine, that’s disgusting. You’re disgusting. Do you want your children to see you like this?! Or your parents? You’re a mess!”

“Nope, which is why my parents brought them out to Windenburg to hang with Jamie and his brood for a few days, mom and dad are back in town, downtown for some interviews, should be back here in a couple hours. I would have stayed in Windenburg with the kids, but my cousin drove me nuts. He has three perfect kids and makes it look effortless, probably because their mother is always home and part of their lives, unlike the mothers of my kids. Is he happy about that? NOPE! Jamie is freaking out about Liam acting exactly like a teen boy should act. Clearly he has completely forgotten what I was like at that age. That would be something to worry about, but not Liam being a 14 year old boy. Poor kid!” Blaine ranted.

“Blaine, baby, focus. I need you to listen to me now. I have been thinking, a lot. I had a good heart-to-heart with your mother, she helped me get my head on straight. I need you, I want you. I want us. Please don’t go weak on me now.”

“Oh Scarlett, I’ve heard that so many times before. It sounds great, but is only ever good until the next thing that rubs you slightly wrong, or the next time you get cold feet, then all bets are off and you just ‘poof’ vanish into thin air. Literally. And I am left holding my own, in every sense of the term, like a damn fool.”

“Blaine, one last try. Give me one last chance.”

“Look, normally, this would sound dreamy, but I am fucking drunk, woman, I cannot make any sound decisions in this state, so best I can do is postpone our chat until I am 100% again. It’s either that or it will be a clear no from me. Yeah, you heard that right, I am calling the shots here, for once.”

“Okay fine. You finish your personal Octoberfest and I will sit on hot coals till we can actually talk. I guess I deserve that.”

“Counteroffer – join me for ‘Octoberfest’ as you called it. Promise ya, through the spirits veil the world looks a lot more easy going and we have this huge house to ourselves.”

“All right, I am in. Let’s get slobberknocker … ” Scarlett sat up and poured herself a drink as well, then joined him again, clinking glasses.

“Like we did back in college. Remember those days? Man, seemed so rough then, now I wish myself back there. I would have done so many things differently.”

“Of course I remember! Man, that was awesome. You remember us sneaking off to that terrible karaoke bar … then bar hopping, and then the awkward moments in your kitchen when Kai walked in and found me wearing only one of your shirts, judgmental face and all.”

“He wasn’t judgmental, he was worried about me. If anyone would know vampires are majorly complicated, it would be Kai. Which is why his father kept his family far away from the Vatore side for the most part.”

“He’s my cousin’s grandson … trust me, he was judging us.”

“Well, he isn’t anymore. You had a LOT of fun when we went to see him and Chey in Sulani.”

“I did. But we are all older now. Is that where you went, to see Kai?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“I can smell coconut on you.”

“Maybe I was at a strip club.”

“For several days at a time? And don’t those girls prefer vanilla and glitter?”

“Not the upscale ones … “

“Okay. I’ll ask Ri. He’ll find out.”

“Fine, no, I didn’t. I went to Windenburg.”

“Windenburg?! To see Jamie and Averie?”

“To see my aunt and uncle. Every time my life seemed screwed up beyond recognition they were there for me and just staying with them for a while always fixed it. Plus, I like the quiet and calm at the Lake House. Just birdsong, the breeze and water. Like a colon cleanse for your mind. Sure flushed a lot of BS out of my noggin.”

“Did you talk to them about us? Declan and Rory I mean.”

“Scarlett, we said we wouldn’t do this tonight!”

“So, what are we doing then, other than drinking?”

“My plans didn’t go beyond getting trashed, but now that you are here, we’ll probably end up screwing, sooner or later, hopefully before the whiskey dick sets in. Last thing I need is the humiliation of not being able to get one up. So, depending on how that talk we are gonna have at some point goes, our fuck will be one of many … or the severance pop.”

“A what?”

“Severance pop. When you dump someone, but have one last fuck goodbye.”

“YIKES! You are an awful drunk when upset!”

“You are an awful person to be in love with!”

“So, you’re still in love with me then though.” Scarlett remarked hopeful.

“Of course I am! I said I am not sure about the future of this – ‘relationship’ – not that I am not sure how I feel about you. That was never the problem, at least not on my end! The bullshit surrounding us is. Tired of it.”

“Blaine, you know I love you, always have. I made mistakes, out of concern and fear. Maybe they were unfounded. I know that now. I also know we were hurting our children …”

“Our children? Plural? So now Blake is yours too, or are we about to fight and you bring up that fucking ovary again, even though most of the time you won’t give my son the time of day?!”

“He looks so much like his mother and … it’s just iffy for me!”

“Iffy? Blake is a living, breathing child! He can’t help whom he takes after. He wants – and deserves – to be 100% included. You want me, he’s part of the package, Scarlett!”

“I don’t have a problem with Blake, I thought I would be overstepping if I did too much with him. I mean, the bio mother is still in the picture, so where are the lines not to be crossed? I help with homework and school projects and all.”

“He came to me, crying, because you sent him away last time you were practicing singing with Vivien! In the studio in the house HE lives at, while you don’t, by your own choice. Ballsy, at the very least. Besides, when I was still married to Bri, she never sent Vivien away. She really did treat her like her own daughter, let’s not forget that!”

“I didn’t know if you even wanted him to get involved with music! And you were on the phone.”

“HE IS MY SON! SON OF A MUSICIAN, his grandparents are musicians, his great-great-grandfather was a musician! Blake will have something to do with music, hobby or otherwise, that was always clear to everyone, it’s in his genes and of course I support that, I want that, I hope he chooses that! And I know you know this, so quit LYING!”

“Okay, fine. Sorry then. I guess I was just uncomfortable with the Bri-reminder so up close. I am trying here, Blaine. Really. I cannot undo the past, only change the future. But I need you to let me.”

“Ah, change the future. I see. Since you cannot seem to stop talking about our ‘relationship’, fine, then let’s have that talk and get it over with, inebriated and all, maybe that’ll work in my favor, that way I won’t constantly pussy out for fear of losing you. Liquid courage, do your magic. So here goes, Scarlett: unless whatever you are trying to tell me includes you moving in here in within the next week or two, we need not have that talk at all. My daughter needs her mother around permanently, especially at the age she is at now, and I need her mother. If we can’t have her full time, might be better off without her altogether. Yes, that is an ultimatum!” Blaine rambled on, slightly slurred.

“Okay. Done.”

“Huh?”

“Done. I’ll pack my things and will be moved in within the next two, three days.”

“Scarlett, I am not talking about you leaving an extra toothbrush in my bathroom and a change of underwear. I am talking about full time residence. Like me waking up next to you every morning.”

“So am I.”

Blaine’s eyes narrowed, trying to focus on reading Scarlett’s facial expression for giveaways of a lie.

“You would move in with me? All of a sudden? After me begging in vain for years? And after we just had a major fight about you NOT wanting to do exactly THAT, move in with me? Pardon my doubt here, but I detect BULLSHIT! Why the sudden change of heart?”

“I told you. I had a talk with your mother. She set me straight. I see a lot of things differently now.”

“I have been trying to ‘set you straight’ as you call it ever since we were in college! Again and again I have been trying to get you to give me a real chance to prove to you I am not a fair-weather boyfriend slash partner and that I don’t give two shits about the vampire part! But always the same answer from you. No, no NO! Now that I am at the end of my rope, suddenly all it takes is my mom giving you a healthy talking-to and you are a changed person? So what, my mother is the Vampire Whisperer or something?! Do I really look like an idiot?! What’s really behind all this? What’s your end game, Scarlett?!”

“I have no end game, unless us being together as a true couple is what you would call that. It is as I told you. I don’t know why I couldn’t hear you through all my fears and worries all those years, but your mom got through. She went through similar things as me when she was young, including her parents fighting like we have been, and she ran away from home. I can’t even imagine. It resounded with me. Made me think. And made me decide the hell with the inevitable. I want love and happiness, I want us for as long as I can have it. After that, I’ll figure something out.”

“Nice to hear you don’t already have a contingency plan for after I croak.”

“Blaine, this is what I mean. This is part of being with a vampire. Our lives don’t just end at some point like the lives of mortals do. I know mortals hate being confronted with death, especially their own, but to us it is a fact we have to deal with if we have mortal friends or lovers. It’s the way we think. See, that’s why I was so afraid we’d clash if we’re always together.”

“So now I am a lover, huh?”

“Why are you putting every single one of my words on a gold scale now, Blaine? No, you are not just my lover. You are my life, my love, my everything.”

“Okay, I will be honest with you. All this time I’ve known you I always had to listen to all your worries about us being together, the reason why we shouldn’t and couldn’t – now here goes mine. For starters, I am not convinced that even if I agree now, even if you were to move in, that you wouldn’t just get pissed at me or get cold feet or what the hell ever rubs you wrong and you move out within half a year or so. That would kill Vivien and would definitely be rough on Blake. Seems risky. After all the back and forth over the years, not sure it’s worth it to me. When we’re good, we’re great, but when we’re not – RUN!”

“I won’t do that! I swear. All right, you need more. Fine. You asked me several times to renew our blood bond. I am willing to do that too. Let’s renew that. You know that means a lot among my kind.”

“But means nothing among my kind, mostly because I couldn’t even mention it to anyone, let alone invite anyone, so it’s like it never happened. Not enough to give me the warm-and-fuzzies, Scarlett, especially after experiencing how easily that ‘unbreakable blood-bond’ could be broken when you felt like it, when you left me standing in the Vatore Castle lobby like a moron. If all it takes to undo that precious blood-bond is a moody vampire chick, I am not interested. What else ya got?”

“Okay, fine. You got me, I lied. Yes, again. A blood-bond is for life, literally, can only be broken if one dies. Ri and I never had one, neither did Lorenzo and I, because I was still bonded to you, so all that with them was completely meaningless. In other words, we are still bonded, you and I, always have been. It is an eternal bond, as I told you back when we did it. What more do you want? I agreed to move in, I reaffirmed my literal eternal love for you, we’re still blood-bonded, … what more can I offer, what would be good enough for you?”

“I don’t know, Scarlett. And honestly, I am done thinking about this. Tonight was for me to NOT have to think. I was gonna get trashed and forget the world.”

“All right … let’s forget the world together …” Scarlett said, gently and demonstratively running her hand up his thigh towards his groin.

He didn’t stop her, lightly moaned, even responded in kind to her kiss. This signaled to her not all was lost.

She got up, took the glass from him and put it on the table along with hers, then pulled him up off the couch, hugging him.

Suddenly they were in his bedroom, with vampire speed he was only in his boxer briefs and felt himself shoved – just enough to fall backwards onto his bed, when she was already atop him, only in her underwear.

“Scarlett .. this is … well .. but … we cannot decide our future on this ….” Blaine stammered, his inebriated mind overwhelmed by the sensations of her touches, kisses, the teleportation, the sexy manhandling and what now seemed to turn into an attempt on make-up sex. He was too drunk to stop it, but too sober yet to just let it happen.

“We’re not. We both need this now. This, and each other, in every way. Afterwards I will leave you to your thoughts, well, once they’re clear again, and I will figure out how to make my case to you in a way you will acknowledge to be real, honest and from the deepest bottom of my heart and soul. Let’s enjoy this evening without a square thought. Call this a prelude to a decision.”