Sometimes it’s hard
To make things clear
I know when to face the truth and I know
That the moment is here
I’ll open my heart
And show you inside
So open your eyes
And see who I am
And not who you want for me to be
I am only myself
Del Sol Valley Cameron Mansion
Sitting alone in her room, Vivien picked up her cell phone again, only to frown discouraged before putting it back down. No messages. No missed calls. No nothing. Nothing from Liam. Nothing.
It had now been three days, 8 hours and about 42 minutes since she had left Liam’s penthouse, per usual she had called her vampire mother Scarlett to pick her up and port with her from San Myshuno to Del Sol Valley in seconds, but against Vivien’s secret hopes and expectations there had not been even as much as a peep out of Liam since. No call, no text, no Skype call, no email, simply nothing. Stubbornly, Vivien was still waiting for Liam to make the first step, since she felt he had wronged her. Despite of that, by now she was missing him terribly, but was still too proud to be the first to break her silence.
Having to endure her siblings’ million questions and her parents repeated attempts to either mediate or take her mind off the Liam-situation frustrated Vivien as much as everyone’s apparent confusion about what her problem with the matter was in the first place. Nobody seemed to understand her side, just made feeble attempts to support her out of solidarity. So she spent a lot of time on her own, to think and to evade more questioning. But now the walls began to close in, looking for company she headed downstairs right as Caitlin started crying. With a sigh Vivien turned to walk down the hall to check on her baby sister, who quit fussing immediately as her big sister entered the nursery, wiggling excited in her crib, so Vivien picked her up.
“Lonely, huh? Me too. Lonely in a crowd is what I am, all because I miss that goddamn arrogant big headed shithead I am engaged to. Your stupid kinda-sorta-brother-in-law is so amazing and handsome, why does he have to be so stubborn about wanting a baby all of a sudden? I don’t want babies … I don’t like babies … well, present company excluded, of course. I am just no good with babies, I don’t even know what you kids want half the time, you just scream for no apparent reason. And then you grow up and leave, like I did. Poor mom and dad. But I guess we always come back, right? I mean, I am supposedly a world-famous celebrity at the height of my career, this close to being awarded my own star on the walk of fame … yet, here I am again, ran back home to mommy and daddy because I got my feelings hurt. Adulting sucks, Cait, take your time getting here. I cannot recommend AT ALL! Here I am now with a fiancé whom I love, but who is on the other side of the country, both of us too proud and stubborn to do anything about it, but I am pretty sure he is about as miserable as I am. Seriously Caitlin, adulting sucks a big one! I remember ten years ago, as a teen I thought I had problems. Ha, what did I know, I was such a fool. My life was so easy then. As you get older, everything just gets a million times more complicated and I am 100% clueless half the time. All I know is I cannot stop thinking about Liam. Handsome, kind, sweet, smart, sexy Liam.”
As if responding to her speech, Cait now cooed something that sounded almost like ‘blah blah blah’ then blew a few raspberries in the air, making Vivien giggle.
“Yeah, I know. I should probably call him and kiss up to him, since I was the one walking out on him – again. That was wrong too. Man, Cait, you should have seen him, he looked so angry when I left, and his weird crazy thing with slamming that door a couple times was seriously scary, like he lost his last marble, but I guess it was just his frustration wanting out. Seriously, I think that was the maddest I have ever seen him as long as I have known him, which is pretty much all our lives. I am not even 100% sure we are not broken up at the moment. Ugh!”
“Why actually?” she heard a male voice from the door, pleasant, a well trained tone and each word perfectly enunciated. Her brother Blake, the actor and current heartthrob stealing hearts and headlines alike. Any movie he was cast in turned into a blockbuster, it could be him reading a phone book for three hours and it would sell out, mostly courtesy his female fan following ranging from ages 9 to 90.
“I explained to you guys why in great detail.” Vivien told him, sometimes still surprised to find herself looking at the handsome young man Blake had grown into, while somehow still expecting to see the little tow-headed boy he used to be. And she could always see his late mother in him, Bristol, who also helped raise her for a while.
“Not really. All you ever said was that he wants to marry you and have kids with you one day, which you then follow up by either incoherent screeching or crying – or both. None of us REALLY understand what the problem is, even though we are all trying really hard here.” Blake corrected her.
“Excuse you?! You are not the only one in this room who had voice lessons, Blake. I have a fully trained voice and am always in control, in other words, I definitely do not screech – ever – thank you very much.” Vivien told her brother off in the gentlest tone possible to not agitate their little sister, who was amused at the moment.
“You do whenever you talk about your fight with Liam. Funny that the part about screeching is all you heard of what I said, selective hearing much? And what’s the big deal anyway? I thought all girls want the guy they love to marry them and have a baby with them. I cannot tell you how many offers for baby creation with random girls I get daily. I thought that was just a great compliment, and while I personally won’t take anyone up on it, I have definitely never been so upset by it. Just saying you want a kid doesn’t instantly make you a parent. I am going to be a father at some point down the line, once I am ready to be. Why not, right? Besides, Liam is real easy on the eyes, you are too, so whatever you’d pop out would most likely be something you wouldn’t have to be embarrassed about, you two can afford a kid, or a nanny if need be, mom and dad would throw you guys the wedding of the century, and we all would pitch in to help with the kid, as would Liam’s folks, so, what exactly is the hang-up here? Engagement ring not big and shiny enough?”
“Thanks. Lovely that my own brother thinks of me as some material bitch. For your information, I love the ring Liam gave me, it is special because HE gave it to me and I would still love it if he had gotten it from a gumball machine as long as he gave it to me because he loves me. You know, Blake, not all girls want the wedding and kids spiel. Some want a career and independence, and not all go gaga over babies. I am one of those women who want to make a name and career for themselves and personally am not a fan of those screaming diaper-soilers.”
“Maybe, but if you didn’t want to marry him, why did you get engaged to him? Isn’t that the whole point of an engagement? No wonder he’s confused about what you want or don’t want. Who wouldn’t be? We all are, and we have known you a LONG time.”
“I guess, but in our case it was more symbolic. A promise to each other. And Liam knew that.”
“Apparently he did not. And for someone not liking babies, you sure like that baby a lot – and she you.” Blake pointed at baby Caitlin happily cooing in Vivien’s arms, after her oldest sister couldn’t seem to quit smooching around on her.
“That’s different. She’s family.” Vivien told him.
“And what do you think your own kid would be? A stranger?” Blake snickered.
“Of course not, but that’s different again, hard to explain. For one, I had no choice in our parents’ reproductive decisions, but I do have one in my own. If our parents have another baby, or ten more babies, we would all have to deal with it, whether we like it or not. I can choose to have a child or not. Blake, I know you think you are helping me, but you need to quit being so …. so … what’s the word?”
“Logical? Reasonable? And also, there is still the Cameron curse thing. Not everyone in our family gets to choose if they want to have a kid or not. You know Cait wasn’t exactly planned. It’s the price you pay when you are a Cameron and like sex. Either risk it or be celibate. I can only speak for myself, but the latter is not an option for me, so I only sleep with a girl I love, I don’t stray, and if a baby happens, so be it.” he smirked the same signature smile as their father, giving him a mischievously handsome appearance.
“First of all, we are both too old to believe in silly curses. Surprise pregnancies ALWAYS have a logical and medical explanation, namely that someone screwed up birth control. I am smarter than that, Blake, and very tedious about making sure I don’t get pregnant, because I am responsible. Anyway, you reasonable brother of mine, since you seem to have all the answers, what would you have me do about all this situation? Crawl back to Liam on my hands and knees to beg for forgiveness, then tell him I could not think of anything better than have a baby with him? Not sure he’d buy that in the first place, but I don’t want to have to base our relationship on a lie, cos that is all it would be. I do not want a baby, period.”
“How the hell am I supposed to know that, Vivien? You’re the older one, you have 4 years of life experience on me. All I can tell you is that this would be a discussion you should have had with Liam, rather than just run. Running away every time the going gets rough is cowardly, it is confusing and hurtful and would piss me off too if you were my girlfriend or fiancée. I mean, isn’t a serious relationship supposed to be a place where you conquer problems together rather than alone? You are really not sending him a message of unity or trust here.”
“Well, thanks for man-splaining my relationship to me, Blakey, except, all you are telling me are things I already figured out on my own, while I still do not know how to fix it. Blake, do you think Liam is the one for me? Or more importantly, do you think I am the one for him? Like, the one he wants forever?”
“How am I supposed to know that? I don’t live with you guys.”
“But you’ve seen us together a million times. You talk to him. You have to have an impression.”
“Well, duh, if any of us thought he were stringing you along, we all would have sorted him out already and not just stood by letting you run blindly into some dead-end thing. So yeah, I think you two have what it takes. But that would really be a discussion you should be having with mom or dad, cos what do I know? I never claimed to be some relationship guru, I never bothered getting all the experience with women like our dad did when he was my age. Once I met Mila I quit looking anyway.” Blake shrugged. Mila, short for Milena Sheridan was his girlfriend, also an actress in her own right, with big, soulful doe-eyes and a doll face. She and Blake had met on set some time ago, co-starring then, fell in love during the shoot and definitely made a couple worth mentioning in the news.
“OMG – you and Mila, YAS! If you want my input on that, you and her are THE celebrity couple – period! All the Brangelinas and what nots got nothing on you two! Man, if you two ever have kids, they will be the most beautiful kids in the world! Hopefully they’ll inherit your eyes! They are amazing, I always envied you for those!”
“Thanks for the support, but listen to you, you are doing it too! The thing you got so pissed at poor Liam for! Fangirling Mila and me and having us have kids already in your mind – and we’re not even engaged yet, only been a couple for about half a year now. Ooooh sissy, so busted!”
“Oh my god, Blakey, you are right. Holy shit! I guess I really totally overreacted at poor Liam. He did say he was just asking a question and did not want to have kids right away. He was just day-dreaming about our future and I took it as a gun to my head. Oh yikes! I need to have mom take me back right away! I am not above telling him I was wrong, and that I am sorry. Hopefully he won’t give me too hard a time. He’ll forgive me, right?”
“Slow down, horsey! First, put our sister back in her crib, she fell asleep over your home-cooked relationship problems anyway. And isn’t Liam at work now anyway? I think if you showed up at the law firm to iron this out he’d just feel put on the spot. So, counteroffer. Why don’t you take mom and Celie to the spa, my treat, do a nice girls afternoon together, then when you are all relaxed and beautified have mom take you home and glow the pants off Liam. Wear something low-cut and one of your mini-skirts, flash a smile, bat your eyelashes and he won’t recall a thing about any fights. It’s pretty universal about us guys, we are wired pretty simple, especially if we love a girl. If she comes at us all cute and sorry, we forget all about stupid fights.”
“You’re right! Thanks Blakey. Best brother ever!”
“I’ll be sure to tell Chase.” he chuckled.
“Oh, right … best blonde brother ever. My sweet lil Chasey … you both are the best brothers any girl could wish for.”
San Myshuno Senator Suites Apartments - Liam's Penthouse
After her spa day with her mom Scarlett and foster sister Celeste, Vivien had Scarlett drop her off outside Liam’s penthouse. Chipper and excited, her heart beating fast for anticipation of seeing Liam again, finally being able to kiss him, touch his chest and spend all night showing him how much she missed him, Vivien turned the key in the lock of the front door.
She entered and noticed the TV on in the living room, set her bag down, found the room empty as she entered, but then heard Liam’s voice from the patio, door cracked, but the lights reflected too much off the large windows for Vivien to see him. He was probably on the phone again, working as always.
When Vivien stepped outside she stopped short as if she had run into a brick wall when she realized he wasn’t on the phone at all – nor alone.
Next to him a blonde beauty, he had his arm wrapped around her, while gently speaking to her, calming and consoling, the back of his hand gently stroking her cheek, and before them on the table a half empty bottle of wine and two glasses.
“What the hell?” Those three words contained all of Vivien’s painful feelings as she recognized Lana, Liam’s former affair and former colleague.
They had not noticed her until now, both Liam and Lana jumped up and sprayed apart, staring at the new arrival with big eyes.
“Vivien!” Liam exclaimed.
“Wow – this!” Vivien said, it was all she COULD say, before she turned and ran back inside.
“Vivien, wait! Stay … please … let me explain.” Liam ran after her, catching up to her quickly in the dining area with his long legs and big strides, reaching out trying to hold on to her, while she stopped she shook his hand off, glaring at him.
“Let me guess, it wasn’t what it looked like, right? How I just LOVE having you turn me into a cliché! Thank you for that! How predictable!” she laid into him angrily and hurt.
“It’s completely harmless. Don’t jump to unjust conclusions here! Lana needed someone to listen to her, and a shoulder to cry on, I had offered her to come to me if she needed to talk …”
“Oh good! I am so glad you are so readily available to console your ex, while your current relationship is in shambles. I don’t recall you offering to console me. Not even a text or a word from you! Guess you had your hands full with Lana and her big tits!”
“Oh no, you’re not pinning this on me! YOU are the one who walked out on ME – again!!! I told you I was sick and tired of constantly running after you, even if I did nothing wrong. And I most certainly didn’t see any text or calls from YOU! That ball was in YOUR court!” Liam’s tone changed from soft to the level of angry Vivien’s was.
“Sure it was, since your balls were apparently firmly in Lana’s grip again! Sorry for interrupting your happy reuinion here. Looks like you got over missing me fast!”
“Vivien, stop it! Nothing happened! I am only helping out a friend here, totally platonic! Lana is going through a rough …”
“Oh, please spare me! I don’t care if Lana broke a nail and her world ended. And helping her out with what?! What could YOU help HER with?”
“Long story, very convoluted, she wants a baby and it’s just not happening … now her husband is in the hospital …” Liam stopped talked when he realized the truth wasn’t helping his case at all.
“Oh, that is rich! I say no to a baby with you, so you turn around and console one into Lana instead a few days later while her husband and I are conveniently away! Manwhore! I thought you loved me, guess it was a lie. You filthy liar, you used me! You wanted to advance your career by using my name and fame! Here – take back this lie, so you can fuck Lana without feeling too guilty! I am sure you’ll have her knocked up in no time!”
Vivien pulled the engagement band off her finger and threw it into Liam’s face so hard it temporarily left a red mark on his cheekbone, before it bounced off, then with some metallic plings landed somewhere on the floor in the background. Liam’s eyes darkened, his face an angry grimace as he growled deeply and angrily, in a frightening tone Vivien had never heard from him before.
“OUT! Leave the key! Get out of my home! You just officially moved out!” Liam was turning bright red for anger now in front of Vivien’s eyes, leaving her scared stiff, as he roughly wound the key out of her fingers that were clenched around it, before he grabbed the stiff-for-shock Vivien by the arm and dragged her out of the front door, then shoved her into the hallway, where she barely caught herself stumbling, while behind her with a swift kick Liam already sent her bags crashing into the wall next to her, before he slammed the door shut so hard, the sound and pressure were enough to pop Vivien’s ears.
She wasn’t able to move until after the echo of the door of what had been her home for the past year and a half being slammed in her face had faded.
Sobbing, she pulled out her cell phone to call her mother.