They say you never know what you have got until it’s gone.
But the truth is,
You knew exactly what you had,
You just thought you would never lose it …
San Myshuno Law Firm Parking Garage
Vivien peeled her back away from the wall she had been leaning up against, where she had been waiting for a significant amount of time for him to show up, now that he finally did her eyes lit up, while his darkened as she stepped forward and into his line of vision.
“Liam …” she said softly, her heart beating hard against her chest.
He said nothing, just glared at her.
“Can we talk? Please.”
“I have nothing to talk about.” was his short and harsh reply when he tried to pass her by, which she foiled by stepping into his way quickly.
Facing him, so closely caused her body to react instantly. She felt heat rise within, the scent of his cologne took her breath away in the most sensual way as she remembered moments of herself being pressed up against his bare body inhaling said scent.
With a grunt, he stepped to the side and raised his arm to unlock his car remotely, but didn’t move yet, while the car beeped and lights flashed briefly just feet from them.
“Liam – PLEASE …” her tone was a mere yelp, changing his stone-faced expression to an annoyed one.
“What do you want, Vivien?!”
“Talk. We have to talk. You are wrong, there is so much I have to say to you …”
“I am NOT wrong. I know you have a lot to say, but I do not. Not anymore.” he stepped towards his car, opened the driver side door and tossed his briefcase onto the passenger seat, signaling he wasn’t going to invite her along.
“Liam, just a talk. We can go to the penthouse or a cafe, anywhere.”
Liam shook his head, climbed into his car, slammed the door and started it. When he halted for a moment, Vivien gathered hope, which was destroyed when she watched him inhale, then back the car out.
Vivien was nothing if not relentless. Over the following days she tried and tried to get Liam to talk to her, he wouldn’t budge. All it did was make him even more upset and resentful. So she gave up. Had to. She had run out of time anyway to fix it.
Her new album was finished and had been released, which meant a lot of travel for appearances to promote it and then the subsequent tour with her father. Vivien didn’t mind. Since she couldn’t sway Liam’s mind, she was grateful for the distraction.
Blaine Cameron World Tour feat. ViVa Several Locations
Touring didn’t just happen, it meant you had to be in top physical shape as choreography was pounded into your head several hours of every day, long before the strenuous travel even started.
With the break-up already taking a toll on her, straining her mentally and physically, it didn’t take long for Vivien to feel the effects, just a few weeks into touring, she could already barely keep straight which town they were currently in and fell into bed tired just an hour or so after the show, while the rest of the crew, including her father, usually partied. She had never envied Blaine more for being a vampire, who seemed to never run out of steam.
And then she got sick on top of all. Two days of puking she could barely hide, but the third had gotten much worse. It wasn’t long until her dad calmed her after finding her throwing up violently into a trashcan at the stadium where they were doing the practice run for the show later on.
“It’s nerves, angel. It happens to the best of us. Just stop right here, go to your room and relax, do some breathing exercises and think of something pleasant. I’ll let Hugh know, then will be right behind you to check on you.” Hugh was their tour manager.
As soon as Vivien reached her hotel room, she managed to take a hot shower, change into her comfy sleepwear, before the nausea overtook her several more times.
Since she didn’t answer his knocks, Blaine had a key card to her room and found her like that, watching her worried.
“Daddy, I don’t think I can go on today. I am too sick. I can’t stop puking. Been like this for days, but today it just won’t stop!”
“Viv, you can and you will. We both know your sickness has a name and that is Liam. I know you had hopes, we probably all did, none of us can believe you two broke up for real, but sometimes that’s just how life goes. Not every love has a happy ending. But you are a very successful, beautiful, talented young woman. You need time to get over it all, and then you will find life goes on and you will love again and live again. Promise. For now, worrying yourself literally sick doesn’t help anyone or anything, so pull yourself together, calm your nerves and focus on the show. Quit thinking about things you cannot change anymore.”
“Daddy … I just don’t feel like that perfect superstar they all need me to be tonight. I feel like a little girl who has busted her knee. I just want to sit here with my daddy all night.”
“I know, baby girl, and I would love nothing more, but sometimes being a father means tough love. Break-ups suck, Viv, I know first hand, but that feeling won’t last forever. It didn’t with Malik, and he got you good too, if you remember. You got over him, moved on, you will do the same with Liam. Let’s hose you off, then get you on the bed to calm down some. I need you at 100% tonight.”
Blaine went into daddy mode, carefully helping his oldest to the sink, gently wiping her face with a wash cloth, then assisted her to the bed.
“Just close your eyes for a bit, I’ll go grab Hugh to see if he can organize us some anti-nausea medicine and some saltine crackers. We’ll get you in ship-shape in no time, angel girl. I remember the olden days when I was puking like a sprinkler because of some bad hangovers until just before I had to go on stage. It’s all doable.”
“Daddy, you were right, I am fine. I can handle this. Don’t tell Hugh, I don’t want them to make a fuss about me like a wimpy little girl. I’m okay. It’s all good.”
“Well, if you are fine then get your ass in gear, I’ll go search for Hugh to get us them crackers to make sure you got something in your stomach before we go on so you don’t keel over, all empty now, you skinny thing, while you get dressed and put on your makeup – or I will.”
“Oh god no!”
“Hey, I used to dress you all the time when you were little. You are still my daughter and I am not shy. You got nuttin’ I ain’t seen before, princess. And how hard can a little makeup be, right?” Blaine winked and grinned at his daughter. He was joking, but Vivien knew better than to challenge him too much. Blaine didn’t like to lose arguments.
“Oh no worries, I have no doubts that you would go through with it! Hey daddy, did you always want kids?” Vivien sat up, then wrapped her arms around her father to keep him from leaving. She needed him now. Him hugging her back felt warm, despite him always feeling so cold to the touch now, like vampires did. She had grown up around them, it seemed normal to Vivien.
“Kids? Me?! HAHAHA – gawd no. When I was a teen and probably even in my twenties, I had this glorious idea of being single forever, just banging chicks until they got annoying, then when I would be what I thought was old, around the age I actually am now, I would marry some hot chick half my age and make one baby with her, a boy, because arrogant self-absorbed dumbass me thought I could somehow decide that, so he would carry on the name and the musical legacy. Yeah, I really thought I could tell my future kid what to do back then. So, no. I didn’t really want kids and had you told 15 year old Blaine I would one day have five, four of those handmade by me, I would have had you committed. A fact your grandpa Rett just LOVES to rub my face in practically every single time I see him. Such is life, always unpredictable. The Forrest Gump box-of-chocolates thing is real. You really never know.” Blaine told her without ever breaking the embrace.
“So … what changed your mind? About kids I mean. And marriage. Did you ever regret it?”
“Regret – never! Changed … I don’t know if you can call it a change. I suddenly found out I was a daddy, I fell in love with you, Vivien, the first moment I looked into your eyes, which were also my eyes. Cameron eyes. One look and I knew you were mine, had to be. So I put the proverbial gun to your mother’s head and she admitted the truth. I was livid then, but she was right, I had not been ready for you before. I was so angry with her about .. well … ironically, about a break-up. Sound familiar? As for the other kids, Blake was serious work to create because Bristol had some conception issues but wanted a kid hell or high water and I wanted her to be happy, Chase was just your mom and I having fun and purposely chancing a pregnancy, you know why we are fostering Celeste and Caitlin was another Cameron curse baby. All mine, all loved. No regrets.”
“Do you think I would be a good mother? I just cannot see how it, nor how it would fit into all … THIS. I feel like I would have to choose between either being me, the busy musician, or a mother, not both. I really don’t want to give up music. I could not give up being a musician. Going on stage. Performing. Recording. Not now, not ever. It just doesn’t seem fair, having to choose.” Vivien sounded desperate.
“Viv … open your eyes. Do you think I am a good father? Yeah? Well, I am here, doing what I have always done, perform. I have an infant at home, two teens and a twenty one year old man-toddler who thinks he is a big actor kahuna, yet needs constant supervision or he goes off and marries people without warning. And I have a smart, beautiful young musician daughter right here with me. Yet, your mom manages fine back home without me, even though I am pretty sure once I get back, she’ll go on a week-long vacation or something. Alone.” Blaine smirked. He was joking. Once he was back home Scarlett would do what she always did when Blaine returned from a tour, spend as much time with him – alone – as possible.
“I just can’t see myself with a baby. Or pregnant. It just feels … wrong.”
“Then don’t. God knows the world ain’t hurting for lack of Camerons and with as many cousins and siblings as you have, I am confident the next generations of Camerons are not at stake, whether you choose to partake or not. Don’t let anyone force something on you that you do not want. You know, when you know. Or you’ll deal with it if it just happens to you. That is the best I can tell you, because if there is one thing I learned for certain it is that you cannot plan life out further than a few hours. But I am starting to think we need a little more than crackers and anti-nausea meds up in this bitch. Thinking I will go take care of the shopping myself. I’ll be right back. Don’t you move.”
Blaine left, and soon after returned with a little brown bag, containing a small pack of salt crackers, a puke-pink colored bottle of anti-nausea medication – and a pregnancy test. Vivien was shocked, but realized he had a point. He left to give her some privacy, promising to be back to check on her in a few.
Vivien had tears running down her face when she sat up and opened the test package to read the instructions. She was running out of time and knew she would never be able to focus on the show if she didn’t get clarity first. She cried when she peed on the stick, set the timer.
When Blaine returned, he found his daughter curled up on the bed.
“So, how did it go?” he asked, but Vivien didn’t answer, just stared at the test in her hand.
She still didn’t say anything, instead she just sat up and handed him the test, he took her shaking hand to hold it steady enough to read the result, while she started sobbing.
Vivien slid to the edge of the bed to run and hide, but Blaine tossed the test on the nightstand, held on to his daughter and pulled her close next to him.
“Talk to me baby girl.”
“I can’t. I cannot say it or you’ll think I am crazy!”
“You’re a Cameron, that’s a prerequisite. We’re all crazy. Tell me, sweetheart. Cos I need some context here. The test reads negative, which means not pregnant. Which is a good thing, right?”
“Yeah …” Vivien dragged her answer out, then sobbed again, leaving Blaine utterly confused.
“Viv. Vivien. Angel. I am really not understanding what is going on here. I expected this reaction in case the test would have read positive, which it did not. For the negative I thought I’d find you doing cartwheels in here. I am here for you, sweet girl, but you need to tell me what is wrong.”
“I don’t want a baby, I basically lost Liam because of that … and then I thought I was pregnant, and I cried so much … and then I wasn’t pregnant and now that is even worse! For some reason I wanted to have his baby so bad now! If I were pregnant, he would have taken me back, I know it. And we would have been happy, like you and mommy. Now that I am definitely not pregnant he will knock up Lana, if he hasn’t already and they will raise an obscenely gorgeous and smart baby together … without me!” Vivien rambled on, then started sobbing hard again.
“Whoa! What?! Viv, you are not making one iota of sense, kid. I really do not know what is happening here, I do not know what to tell you, except the obvious. A baby is NOT – I’ll repeat again for the ones in the back – NOT the way to patch up a broken relationship. You need a baby right now like a hole in the head, kiddo. So, I will feed you some crackers, follow them up with the medicine, then tuck you into bed. Then I’ll talk to Hugh. Tonight’s show is not happening for you. The fans will have to deal with just me and like it. We’ll get them some free shit or a ticket to another show. Oh, and after the show your little ass and my confused one are marching ourselves to a hospital to figure out why you are puking. Then while we are at the hospital with you, we’ll see about some therapy too, cos honey-child, you need someone to reset that mind of yours.” Blaine decided.
“Dad, I don’t need therapy I need a baby!” Vivien snapped at her father.
“Well, you’re not getting one from me, nor anyone else on this tour! You need to chill the fuck out, sweet child o’mine! The very last thing you need right now is a baby! You need a doctor, and that is ‘exactamente’ what I am going to get you! I just decided tonight’s show is postponed cos you and I will be at the nearest hospital getting your tires kicked.”
Hugh had a lot to say about Blaine wanting to back out of a show just hours away, just like Vivien had a lot to say about not wanting to go to a hospital, but Blaine marched on like a tank with his plan.
For a good reason. At the hospital they found a serious case of gastroenteritis and a starting appendicitis in Vivien requiring emergency surgery and two days in the hospital.