Chapter 276) Schnoodled

“A dog teaches a child fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.”

–Robert Benchley

Del Sol Valley
Cameron Mansion

Walking into the lobby of his home after having been away since the early morning hours to attend several radio and TV shows to promote his new album, Blaine stopped on a dime.

“Whoa whoa whoa whoa! What’s THAT?! That wasn’t here when I left!” he pointed at what captured his attention.

“A dog, daddy. Duh!” said Blythe.

“Yeah, duh, daddy!” agreed her identical twin sister Fallon.

“I can see that. What I am not seeing is you two smart Alecs doing homework, and something tells me that is not done yet. So, off with both of you! Mouthing off to poor daddy is only allowed with finished homework!”

Groaning times two, the twins obliged and skedaddled towards the dining room, where all the Cameron kids had always done their homework ever since Blaine himself was still a little boy.

“Oh honey … I missed you. We all missed you so much, even though it was only a few hours …” Scarlett smiled.

“Nah Letty … sugar won’t work here … explain THAT OVER THERE?!”

“Oh … him…. Long story, Blaine darling. So – the funniest thing – we went to run some errands after school and ended up walking right into some men arguing, this poor puppy was pulled and shoved, totally scared, then one man said he’d take him out to the desert and shoot him, I don’t know if he would have but I couldn’t risk it, so … we kinda bought George and …”

“Who’s George?!”

“THAT’s George.” Scarlett pointed at the dog.

“GEORGE?! You named a dog ‘George’?!”

“I didn’t. Your kids did. Unanimously, even Gavin chimed in. I was outvoted. He is a purebred Schnoodle!”

“A what?!”

“A Schnauzer – Poodle mix. A Schnoodle.”

“Sounds like a SNAFU to me. If you got more than one breed, it ain’t a purebred, babe. I ain’t that smart, but I am smart enough for that Math.”

“It’s kind of a designer type breed. People have been crossing those two breeds for decades, even the official Kennel Club recognized them as a breed. And Schnoodles get the best of both breeds and we already know how incredibly sweet and smart Poodles are from Blake and your mother, Schnauzers are smart, brave and hardy, not to mention super-adorable, so …”

“Please, no more sales pitch. Don’t say it … Letty .. don’t say it!”

“I am sorry, baby. But he is so cute, and I wanted to say no, but our kids are so cute too and I was totally out-cuted. We’re dog-owners now. Already bought the full nine yards of stuff, foods and treats for first time dog owners. No returns.”

Blaine frowned and rubbed his face in his hands.

“Scarlett, we need a pet like a hole in the head. And did it have to be an ankle biter? Could you not drag a full-sized dog into his house at least? Like a man’s man-sized pooch.”

“Well, my dad took in Abigail and Jay’s German Shepherd … Major. I am sure daddy would give him to us, since his wolf whips the crap out of that poor dog every time he tried to play with her.”

“Scarlett – Abby and Jay got rid of him because that aggressive motherfucker kept chasing them and the kids through the house! That four-legged asshole even nipped my rear before! No, thank you! And Belladonna isn’t whipping him for wanting to play. I am pretty sure that dog isn’t fixed and has other ideas for Belladonna.”

“Well, see, you don’t have to worry about that with sweet George. He does not bite and there are no female dogs around, plus, we can get him neutered. Here, get acquainted with him. You’ll fall in love! I gotta go put down Gavin for his nap. Make sure George doesn’t poop on the floor again. We’re training him, the man I bought him from said he was housebroken but I guess not. We’ll work on that. I successfully potty trained 7 kids, I can handle a lil dog. Besides, you knocked me up 5 times. I handled that. YOU can handle a dog!”

With that, Scarlett picked up the dog, put him into Blaine’s arms, then vanished, leaving only Blaine and the dog behind.

“Fine. Come here then, George. I don’t blame you, buddy. If they made me wear a ridiculous sweater like that, I’d shit on the floors too till they take it off again. Don’t you worry, Blaine’s got ya. Soon as nobody’s looking, we’ll lose that stupid thing.”

George excitedly licked Blaine’s face, making Blaine chuckle as he sat the dog down and played with him, to which the canine instantly responded happily.

“Yeah – I see what you’re doing, lil guy. You and I have the same tactics, but I use it on Scarlett. Oh well, guess we are dog owners now too. Schnoodled into submission. What a pushover I am. Just great. That’s what this circus needed … but it ain’t your fault. Truth be told, if I overheard some people talking about shooting you cute lil thing, I wouldn’t have been nice about it like Scarlett was. I would have taken THEM to the desert and had them for dessert!”