Chapter 459) And Then It Happened

“My fault, my failure, is not in the passions I have, but in my lack of control of them.”

― Jack Kerouac

Somewhere in San Sequoia

Slowly waking up due to the urgent desire to use the bathroom, Stryker blinked open his eyes only to find that it caused serious discomfort. Instantly, his head started spinning – or maybe it was the room – and severe headache and nausea jockeyed for position of which was worse.

Groaning, he shut his eyes again, hoping for the feeling to pass, while slowly and carefully moving his aching muscles, wondering where exactly he was, what day it was. Was this the post-concert aches? No, he didn’t have any performances recently, unless he lost several days or weeks. Nah, impossible. Did he have anything on the schedule today? Why did the sheets feel different?

Blinking open one eye while rubbing the fabric between his fingers, he realized these weren’t his sheets, nor his bed, or his bedroom, and this wasn’t home. It smelled different too. Not better or worse, just different. His aching brain returned no explanation and it hurt to think harder.

He heard movement next to him and relaxed.

“Hey Soph, you awake? I think I am getting sick … and old, babe … or senile … where dafuq are we?” he mumbled.

“Oh, shut up, Stryker! You’re not the only one with a major headache. We’re not old, we got trashed and now we have a hangover. Like the good old days …” she said, but then it hit Stryker all at once. That wasn’t his wife’s voice. Or their bed. Or her shape under the sheets. This was …

“Alycia!”
Stryker exclaimed while simultaneously jumping out of the bed way too agile for his aching head and body, instantly regretting it, while staring at Alycia now sitting up too, scooting to the edge of the bed.

“At least you remember my name …” she said, moaning, visibly impacted as well.

Stryker finally realized one very important detail: She was … COMPLETELY NAKED! Trying to avert his eyes, while feeling an odd breeze in even odder places, he now painfully realized, so was he! His brain had no trouble computing for him what that most likely meant!

“FUCK! FUUUUUUCK!” he screamed, grabbing some still slightly damp towel which lay bunched up on the ground nearby to wrap it around himself, then holding his aching head, but this time the pain was from the realization, not the hangover.

“Oh jeeze, here we go. Relax. Your secret’s save with me. We both needed this, evidently. Cos when sober you may play your part of loyal baby daddy to that Sophie-cow, whose only hobbies are eating and popping out kids, but as soon as you got a drink in ya, the real Stryker comes out again. Glad to report you still bring your A-game in the sack. Just trying to look at the bright side here, cos I am desperate for some Tylenol and strong coffee, and you look like you are too.” Alycia said.

While watching her dig through recklessly tossed blankets, pillows and clothing on the floor, pulling out some small items, then slipping into some lacy breath of fabric faintly resembling underwear, Stryker felt like in the middle of a nightmare.

“We … no. NO! We did not! No way! I would NEVER! Not with you!”

With an annoyed huff and a headshake, Alycia headed for a door, presumably the bathroom. Stryker followed.

“Say we didn’t! Please – be honest now! Please tell me you and I didn’t … “

She turned to him.

“Stryker, seriously? I am not telling you anything. Look around the room, I am sure you’ll find a few used condoms somewhere. We didn’t use them as balloons, so do the Math! You were pretty lit and just launched them across the room afterwards each time. Housekeeping is going to just love us.”

“We really did that. Oh fuck! And I got drunk. FUCK! How could I have been so fuckin’ stupid! All my hard work getting clean – out the window. Not to mention Sophie. Oh my God, Sophie! My kids!” Stryker’s head hurt again when some of his memory came back.

“You really know what to say to make a girl feel good. Anyway, I need to pee and shower. And no offense, you could use one too. I can’t believe you have to ask if we had sex. This entire room reeks of sex, sweat and stale booze and frankly, so do we. Lucky for us are we tough, others would be puking their guts out for days after the way we partied last night. I can’t wait to get the bill for all the room service we ordered. Their bar must be empty downstairs. And don’t look at me, I only called down once, you the other times!”

Stryker just stood there, frozen in place, guilt-ridden, doubting himself and all his life choices, as Alycia rolled her eyes, then just proceeded to use the bathroom after turning on the hot water in the shower, all with the bathroom door wide open. She never had any inhibitions when they were still a couple. Sophie would never pee in front of him, let alone walk in on him peeing. Still not, after almost 5 years of marriage.

Stryker swallowed, as the memory slowly returned.

Yesterday, he had gone to a housewarming party of his best friend Drake, also his former bandmember back from Stryke 3 days. He and his wife Christina had bought a bigger home in San Sequoia. Drake was making a decent living, Christina had a well-paying job too

Not just any old home, but a real nice crib right by the water, 5 bedrooms worth, with breathtaking views of the San Sequoia skyline, beautiful layout, every creature comfort imaginable in a modern, yet slightly traditional style, but Stryker’s favorite part was – hands down – the fully built-out man-cave gaming room in the basement, with anything a man’s heart desired to chill out with his bros. Including a fully stocked bar.

Stryker remembered being in awe – and maybe a little jealous – of the cool room and all the ‘toys’ in it, so he told Sophie he wanted to build one too at their home, which she shut down by huffing on it, telling him it was a childish idea for a grown man and father of four, which made Stryker feel belittled, he got in a mood, which rubbed Sophie wrong, and as such things go, it ended in a fight.

Stryker couldn’t recall the last time he and Sophie fought before that, but knew usually it was always about him not spending enough time with her and the kids. Being a career musician wasn’t all ponies and rainbows, it took him away from his family a LOT. If he wasn’t travelling for promos, interviews or concerts, he was locked up in some studio recording, writing, refining, fixing, re-writing. Writing music wasn’t a 9 to 5 job, frustratingly enough there was a lot of writer’s block involved, a constant source of anxiety for Stryker with deadlines looming, coming up with anything usable required being in ‘the zone’, and once in it, it was hard for Stryker to stop. He had spent entire days in his studio before.

Anyway, Sophie wanted to leave right away, especially when Stryker’s ex Alycia showed up too, Stryker – still butthurt – refused, since they had just arrived at Drake’s place after arranging babysitters in Windenburg, then flying all the way to the other side of the country, not to mention he hadn’t seen his best friend in months. Both dug in their heels, so she left without him.

Pissed off at her and stubborn, Stryker didn’t go after her. He stayed out of protest and decided he would stay extra-late just to prove his point, knowing she would simmer at their hotel room, upset that he didn’t come after her for their usual sappy ‘I didn’t mean it’/’Me neither’ hug-fest, usually followed by even sappier makeup sex.
And then he made the first mistake: he had a drink, thinking after being sober for many years, he could handle it. He remembered having another drink glaring at Alycia. She was still best friends with Drake’s wife Christina and with Marciella, the wife of the other former band member Nate, who was also Drake’s half-brother.

While everyone else was busy playing with the ‘toys’ or visiting, Stryker kept covertly getting himself healthy doses of refills of the high percentage liquor. He quit counting after glass number 5. And not the shot glass size either!

Initially he remained snarky, rejecting to Alycia’s attempts to talk to him. After that, things got blurry. He vaguely remembered dirty-dancing with Alycia, remembered her grinding up on him … then nothing anymore. Total black out. No, that wasn’t true. The more he thought about it, the more was coming back. So, he stopped thinking about it, he didn’t want to remember details.

“Where are we even?” he now croaked.

“The Grand Hotel in San Sequoia. My room, obviously. Share the shower with me?”

“You’re married too! Where’s your husband? Oh fuck, if he finds out about this, he will make it public … then Blaine will hear about it too … oh god!” Stryker exclaimed.

“Eli? Have you been living under a rock? It’s been all over the news for weeks! The asshole killed himself last month! My legal team is selling it as untreated depression side-effect, when in reality he just knew he had reached the end of his rope and took the easy way out. He has gambled away all of his money. He was getting to an age where he wasn’t getting the usual roles anymore, but the background ones, the grandpa, the dad, some side-show stuff. And he lied to me all the time, from the beginning, cheated one me, and I was about to divorce his ass, meaning because of the prenup, he would have been financially ruined, as I would keep my wealth and he would keep his debts. The straw that broke the camel’s back for me was when I had finally agreed to try for the son he wanted so badly, a few weeks into a pregnancy I ended up at the hospital losing the baby, all alone, cos he wouldn’t answer his phone, how could he, he was balls-deep in one of his many mistresses, and naturally my wonderful mother sure couldn’t be bothered, she’s dead too now, by the way, but she finally did something good for my sister and me, leaving us her wealth. Any feelings of love I once may have had for Eli were snuffed out with each dark secret I uncovered. Something tells me I am not done finding out about crap he pulled and hid from me. So, if you are worried about Eli, don’t be.” Alycia aired her emotions. It was clear to see she had loved and lost and was very hurt still.

“Alycia, did we really have sex? Did we do drugs too?” Stryker was moved by her hardships, but just couldn’t get over the other news. It just couldn’t be. No.

Alycia turned to Stryker, her annoyed expression changed when she saw his distress, so instead of her usual snippy remarks, her tone was more patient.

“Stryker … no, no drugs, but yes, we did have sex, lots of it, and with growing enthusiasm. Look babe, we always fit so well in the bedroom. Eli was a hunk, all the women thought he was a god, but disappointingly, in the bedroom he had a very limited range. I bet the goodie-two-shoes you married isn’t much different. THIS, what happened here, isn’t really a surprise. People have needs. Especially people with a lot of stress, you from your career, me from … well .. Eli’s bullshit. We needed this. And we are both sensual people, we both are crazy in the bedroom, we need much more than what we ever got from our spouses. Once the hangover clears, I betcha we both will feel like new people. And if you’re worried about pregnancy, don’t be. After my miscarriage that topic is forever over for me, and you did use protection.” she told him.

“Alycia, I cheated! I am HAPPILY married, but now I am a cheater! And I fucked up my sobriety! I fell off the bandwagon so hard, I bounced like a rubber ball – right into your bed! Why did I do that? FUCK! I set myself back years in just one damn night! This is a disaster! I will NEVER ‘feel good’ about any of this! SHIT!” Stryker panicked. Ever since they had become a couple, Sophie’s greatest fear had always been that one day Stryker would sleep with Alycia again. He found it ridiculous, eventually her fears annoyed him, he always blew it off as nonsense, sometimes more patiently than others. And then it happened … It actually had happened. Sophie was right, he was easting crow, and now looking down into the abyss that his life could become, for the cheating, for the drinking. Stryker just hoped there hadn’t been any drugs involved too.

“Yeah – well – Stryker, I am sorry, but I really have no bandwidth to coddle you now. I am sorry you regret it, I do not, I feel better than I have in a long time, and I needed this more than you can ever imagine. My advice for you would be to keep your mouth shut about this. Don’t tell anyone. I know everyone always says that honesty is the best policy, but in cases like this, that’s swirled bullshit. I know from experience how cheating feels, it’s not easy to forgive, if it can even be forgiven. If I were you, I would keep this to yourself, cos the moment you tell your Mother Goose at home, she will dump your ass and take your kids. I know the type. They are not like us. You and I are carved from the same wood, we’re the same, and we both are different than all the rest.”

“Dump me? My kids! And I … I love Sophie!” Stryker felt as if the ground was moving beneath his feet. What had he done?!

“Okay, I don’t know what to tell you then, sounds like a personal problem. Look Stryker, as much as everyone always just loves to cast me as the bad guy, truth is, YOU actually came on to me. You were VERY persistent. If you don’t believe me, ask Drake and Nate, they tried to stop ya, but you told them … well, the usual drunk Stryker things. And while I didn’t initiate what happened, I will admit I didn’t fight hard to stop it, I never lied about still wanting you. I didn’t break up with you back when, you dumped me. So when you were that gung-ho about wanting to nail me, I wasn’t gonna make it extra-hard for you. You offered and I accepted. THAT is what happened here. Admittedly, you’re not the only one who matured and under normal circumstances, I would probably not mess with a married man, especially not one with so many kids, but the way your wife always has people doing her bidding for her, treating me like vermin … I am so sick and tired of Sophie playing the victim and people like Blaine and Fallon swooping in making me look bad while trying to ‘protect’ the poor innocent goodie-two-shoes! So, I didn’t care what this may do to her. I always thought we were perfect for each other and last night proved I am not wrong. Don’t worry, like I said, I am not telling on you, but I need to shower now, you are welcome to join, or don’t, but check out is at 11 and I need you out of here by then. And you should probably scurry to find your wife and dream up a good explanation of where you have been all night.”

She pulled off the tiny pieces of underwear barely covering her, they fell to the floor as Alycia hopped into the steaming hot shower, leaving Stryker to simmer in his guilt and fear of losing everyone and everything he cared about in his life.

Everything he had worked so hard for.

So now what? Lie? Tell the truth? If he did, Alycia was probably right with her guess. Sophie would leave him and take the kids from him. His anchor, his stability. His everything. If he had to screw up, did it have to be so much at once? And with Alycia of all people? Sophie might have forgiven him cheating, but she would never forgive him cheating with Alycia. No, she was right. There was no way he could tell her. A risk he couldn’t take. This was a truth he had to take to his grave.

Author's Notes: 
I didn't kill off Eli Stiles, the game did, but I did take artistic liberties to make it more story-worthy. Fact is though that Alycia's marriage to Eli wasn't a happy one, he did cheat a lot, she did lose a baby (some time ago), and she ended up in the acting career, which suits her.
Alycia's mother, Judith Brenner, better known by her maiden name Judith Ward, recently died of old age. Alycia has one younger sister.