Chapter 468) Flight of the Phoenix

“Life is a storm that will test you unceasingly.
Don’t wait for calm waters that may not arrive.
Derive purpose from resilience.
Learn to sail the raging sea.”

Windenburg
Marriage Counseling Practice

The therapist looked back and forth between them, a worried expression in his eyes.

“Mrs. Hayes, tell me how that makes you feel.”

“How do you think? Stryker was late, AGAIN, over half an hour late to a 45-minute session with you! What am I supposed to say here? Why even show up for 15 minutes? Sad part, I am used it! Always late, if he shows up at all, cos he supposedly ‘forgot’.” her tone was uber-annoyed.

“I apologized, woman! I lost track of time working in the studio and then there was traffic …” Stryker defended himself angrily.

“Yeah, yeah. Music, music, music, and the studio. You should marry it! Move in there! If you haven’t already. Hard to tell anymore.” Sophie argued back.

“Mr. Hayes, do you think you may work too much?”

“Someone has to! And since that attitude is all I get these days, can you blame me? Nag, nag, nag, complain. That is all I hear. Just nagging all day long, until she finally sleeps. She’s probably still nagging me in her dreams. So, why even try, I don’t get credit for doing something right, she’ll just look for more shit to nag about and Lord knows I ain’t getting any sugar from her. Probably for the better, she’d probably nag me while we’re fucking too.” Stryker responded.

“Mr. Hayes, please, try to keep it civil!” the therapist called him to order, but Sophie already snapped at her husband.

“Always about sex! We have bigger problems. And isn’t that what all your side-chicks are for? I don’t wanna compete with them.”

“What side-chicks? What the fuck are you smoking … sorry I meant .. what the heck. But great idea with the side-chicks, didn’t know that was an option! Maybe then at least ONE of us would have a smile on their face for once!” Stryker grumbled at Sophie.

“Guys! Please. Mrs. Hayes, why would you feel that your husband is cheating on you?”

Sophie opened her mouth, but Stryker talked over her, raising his hand like a school boy.

“Oh – I know, I know. Because of the lawsuit. Never mind that she was there to see all the evidence firsthand proving I didn’t want it, that I am innocent, that I am basically a rape victim. But as usual, facts and proof mean nothing if her mind is made up! Thanks for the support. If I were a woman, you’d be compassionate, but since I have a dick, I get victim shamed instead! Thanks for the spousal support! If I did that to you, if roles were reversed and you had gotten roofied and raped, I’d be tarred and feathered in the town square if I blew it off the way you do with me. But I am a dude, so rape doesn’t exist, right? Men are just big dumb animals who are thrilled by any fuck we can get, huh? No worries how I might feel. Hint: not good! Still! What happened seriously fucked with my mind, and we both know that was already screwed up ten ways till Sunday, but who cares, right? All that matters is that it inconvenienced you, how dare I be so inconsiderate. “

“Mr. Hayes, I am sure nobody is dismissing the horrible things you went through and that you have been adviced to seek counseling for what happened to you and …”

“No thanks! I have never done well with your kind, no offense, last thing I need is more therapists. I am only here because SHE makes me!” Stryker ranted.

“How can I support you when you are never around, because you forget all the time that you are a married father of four first, and a musician second? Or at least that SHOULD be the ranking. And quit playing the innocent victim, the ONLY reason the Alycia-incident was able to happen in the first place is 100% YOUR fault! You acted like a dumbass, you got drunk, knowing with your addiction history you shouldn’t do that, and the rest was just you getting buried by the avalanche you created – and you took me down with you! What happened affected not just you, Stryker! Plus, not like you haven’t cheated on me before, several times. Don’t ask me to baby you for recklessly acting like an idiot! You set yourself up for this by acting like a dumbass!” Sophie argued.

“Ah. Victim-shaming, there it is. Everything is always my fault. Now I feel better! That’s the Sophie we all know!”

“Mrs. Hayes, that is really not productive. Your husband needs support to …”

“Support?! Does he now? I don’t support him enough basically being a single mom to four kids? Cos he is NEVER there to spend time with his own children, let alone parent them, and if he is home, he wants to sleep and be left alone! I didn’t support him enough when he dragged me to Del Sol Valley over and over for months so I could hold his hand, smile for the cameras and pretend everything is just hunky-dory on our way in and out of court, because our attorney felt it was important to portray the happy couple, while I had to sit there and listen to every detail of what he and his ex did in the hotel room over and over again? Has anyone ever considered how that may have made me feel? Nothing was okay, hasn’t been for many months and only getting worse, which is why we’re here!”

“I am not there because you married a musician, who at times has to travel and be in a recording studio to record new music, which people buy and that pays our bills. I never heard you complain about the huge piece of prime real estate that pays for! Or the huge house with the huge backyard that sits on it, all of which costs a pretty penny every single month, from utilities over maintenance to hired help. And all you have to do is watch kids – oh wait, no cos we have a nanny now, so you do whatever the fuck you do all day, you have no job, we have a housekeeper, a gardener, all which my music pays for, so you can sit there, have time for your hobbies and can dream up crap to accuse me off!”

“I do a LOT of things with the kids, the nanny only helps out with the overflow! As do the maid and gardener! They only come in for a few hours, but household and parenting is a 24/7 job, Stryker! I am still the main caretaker of the kids and the home! And YOU asked me to quit my job as a chef! I cook every single meal for our family! And I cater events. And I make wedding cakes for people! I contribute in many ways!”

“You did a lot with the kids when they were little, maybe. Three are in school and one in kindergarten. They are gone half the day. And besides, even if you had a job, it wouldn’t be more than just gravy on the side. Nothing you could do would even pay for the utilities on that house, let alone the taxes or maintenance, not to mention all the other bills! Including the one we’ll be getting for this bullshit now! Cos this is exactly the waste of time I knew it would be! The only one profiting from this nonsense is our Mr. Therapist here. Happy I get to bankroll your new yacht, bro! “

Sophie looked shut down and insulted.

“Mr. Hayes, please, that is not helpful at all. I can assure you my rates are more than reasonable, and I do not own as much as a paddle boat, let alone any yachts. Your wife is a homemaker and mother. That is a tough and very important job, especially with four kids.”

“Can’t be THAT tough, cos she’s ready to level up again, I had to listen to the old ‘let’s have another baby’ bullshit. I told her I won’t have any more kids! Four is plenty! Sure, won’t fuck me for nothing, not in the mood, headache, tired, this hurts, that hurts, whatever excuse, the list is endless, but is suddenly in pristine condition to fuck to make a baby! Analyze that medical mystery for me, Mr. Therapist!”

“You are never home, how could we make love? Phone sex maybe?” Sophie interjected.

“Make love, ha! That is but a faded memory. Been more like a pesky task for you of late, in the rare case it happens, you just lay there cold as a fish hoping I get it over with soon. A blow-up doll would be more exciting in the bedroom than you, Sophie!”

Sophie was clearly over it all, screamed at Stryker

“Well, then buy a blowup doll and move to somewhere with her! I want a divorce! I am SO over this shit – and over you! You are never home anymore anyway, I see you looking at other women all the time, skinnier, prettier and younger ones, so let’s make it real, so it hurts less, eventually! Let’s rip off this Band Aid”

Fuming, Stryker screamed back.

“Of course, I look at other women, cos I am usually up on stages and fans don’t want to stare are my ass for the entirety of the concert!! And women skinnier than you? Have you looked in a mirror of late? Do you even still eat? I can play symphonies on your ribs, they stick out so far! YOU and your screwed up body image should be laying on this couch, maybe our Mr. Shrink here could help you, cos he’s doing jack all for us! But fine, you want a divorce, then let’s! I know great attorneys because I was raped not that long ago, which inconvenienced you greatly! Poor Sophie! Life is hard as a bored housewife!”

“You probably liked it! It was Alycia, after all! The only reason you cast yourself into the victim role is so you won’t look like a cheater! And no worries, I have the papers at home already, all you need to do is sign!”

Stryker lifted his chin and eyebrows for a minute, until his face darked.

“Oh, so that’s how it is! Look at you. Already prepared to give me the boot and gut me financially like a Christmas goose! Gotcha. Trip me up, until I flip, so you can hit me in the head with a divorce and blame me for it, thinking I’d cower down and take everything you dish out. You know what? I am no battered housewife, I have options! I am calling your bluff, Sophie. If those papers are real, I am fucking signing them. I am so sick and tired of all the bullshit. I married my mother. No wonder you two get along so well. Fucking Stryker over is your favorite hobby, you probably meet up when I am not home to compare notes and get off on it all!”

“Well, I married a deadbeat junkie who can’t remember he has a family, too engrossed in what a great musician he is while flirting with every woman he sees, cos music and sex I all that matters, isn’t that right? I get along with your mother, because she is our children’s grandmother! Well, then do it, sign the papers, then all you have to worry about is the next song, the next tour, the next batch of groupies. Dream life for you!”

“FUCK YOU, Sophie and FUCK YOU, you no-good shrink quack! FUCK YOU for FUCKING up what was left of my marriage!” Stryker yelled, then stormed out.

Windenburg Isle
Hayes Estate
About an hour later

With his bag packed, he met Sophie in the kitchen of the Hayes Estate. She had obviously been crying and was sitting at the kitchen table in front of a manila folder, which she now slid over in his direction.

Stryker approached, opened the folder, leaved through the stack of legal papers it contained, all he ever read was ‘Petition for Dissolution of Marriage’, which took his breath away, but he knew his back was against the wall, he just could not back down now, so he swallowed hard, grabbed the pen and signed his name. He tossed the pen onto the table, slammed his fist into it, then turned and rushed out.

Sophie followed him into the hallway, which he didn’t like, as he didn’t know how long he would be able to keep it together, when he heard her gasp next to him.

Looking at her, she was now crying, when she noticed his eyes on her, she just pointed. Stryker’s eyes followed the indicated direction, and he felt a giant lump in his throat and a hot knife being driven into his heart.
The sign Sophie’s father had handcrafted for them for their wedding.
‘Stryker & Sophie – She Said ‘Stay”

The lump in Stryker’s throat grew even bigger yet.
Stay.
A word that bore great meaning for them. It had come up many times throughout the time they had now known each other, ever since the very first day they met. It might well be the reason there was a Stryker and Sophie in the first place now. That little word.
Stay.
It had even once saved his life.

Stay.

“Dammit, Soph. What the hell are we doing?” Stryker exclaimed resigned.

“The wrong thing, Stryker. This can’t be right, doesn’t feel right. If this was what we were supposed to do, it shouldn’t feel like we are about to make the biggest mistake of our lives. I feel … I feel …” she struggled to explain, so Stryker helped out.

“… like you’re falling into a dark, bottomless abyss, no end in sight.”

“Yeah.” she agreed breathlessly.

“Sophie … say it. If you do, I will. I don’t know what to do. I need your help again; cos I don’t think I can stop myself from screwing something up really bad if you don’t help me. Soph, I am back in my old apartment holding that gun again! God, help me!”

Sobbing, she turned to face him, he followed suit, when she swallowed, and said

“Stryker …. stay. Stay!”

This was too much, both now sobbing hard, he grabbed her and pulled her so tight he was worried he was crushing her, but he needed to feel like they were fusing as both cried into each other’s shoulders.

Slowly, Stryker fell to his knees before Sophie, clinging on to her just as she was clinging on to him.

“Stay! Say you’ll stay…” she sobbed.

“I’ll stay for as long as you want me to.” he replied.

“My God, Stryker, how did we get here? How could we let it get this far?” Sophie sniffled.

“I don’t know, but we need to fix this – quick! This isn’t right! I don’t want this. You don’t want this. Nobody wants this! Damn!” his voice was deep and shaky.

Sophie was first to pull away, reluctantly he let go, when she raised a finger, jumped up, ran to the kitchen and returned with the folder, grabbed Stryker’s hand and pulled him into the living room, stopping in front of the fireplace, flipping the automatic switch on and with a whoosh, flames were illuminating the room, stretching greedily in all directions.

Sophie looked at Stryker, then handed him the folder.

“I said ‘stay’. Ball’s in your court now. This folder here, it contains the end of us. Do the right thing.”

Stryker grabbed the folder, spat on it, then tossed it into the flames, both watching what had almost become the end of their marriage being turned into ashes and soot with satisfying crackles.

“Uh oh …” Sophie said.

“What?” Stryker wondered.

“I think the pen was still in there.” her tone was bone-dry.

After a moment, both burst into hysterical laughter, like two drunk people, until Stryker pulled Sophie close again, his eyes locked to hers.

“Tell me what you need from me, girl and I will do it. I love you Soph, this was way too close. I don’t know how many more times this Phoenix can rise from the ashes. I can’t do it without you, Soph. I know that. Had we done this, it would have been my death sentence. You have no idea how much I need you. I forgot too, because I am an idiot. I remembered now. Forgive me, for everything I have done, everything I have said and all the many things I should have done, but didn’t. Say the words, and it is done.” he pleaded.

“You are right. I thought my life was over today as well. I couldn’t breathe anymore. This was WAY too close. We have to figure out what’s wrong and fix it immediately. Together. I need to fix things about myself too. It’s not just you, baby. I screwed up too. We both did.”

He nodded and held her, standing there, just in an embrace.

“Hey Soph? I know I said I’d do anything, but you think it could maybe NOT be another baby? At least not now?” he said dead-serious with a small voice, making Sophie laugh.

“Get out of my head!” she giggled.

“Okay, well, maybe one more wouldn’t hurt …” he gave in.

“I was joking! Relax! Just teasing you, playing along. Last thing we need is another baby right now. Come on now, give me a little more credit.” Sophie giggled.

Their four kids were staying with their grandparents for the night, a precaution, as the other times they had come home from therapy in horrible moods, sometimes fighting.

So, Sophie and Stryker made use of the quiet and talked.
Plain, straight up talk. Hours’ worth of talk. Honest, maybe hard to hear sometimes, but remedial truths were spoken, like mirrors held up for each of them.
Both realized mistakes were made on either side. Both were determined to fix them.
Looking around the home, which was 99% Sophie’s taste inspired talks for a completely new beginning, when Stryker mentioned the home remodeling craze he had observed when working with Blaine in Del Sol Valley. Sophie decided that their relationship had to be 50:50. Sophie’s mom and sister were interior decorators, who worked closely with architects, so a new beginning needed a good foundation of mutual insights, efforts to change flaws, but also a house both felt was a home.
Stryker would figure out a more reasonable work schedule with fixed, firm breaks, and Sophie would accompany him to award shows and public appearances. They would start taking family vacations again.

Somehow, their many months long dry spell in the bedroom ended that night too, it just became part of the flow of things, with giggles and teasing and romance, just the way it used to be.

“I am glad you asked me to stay, Soph. I couldn’t stop it, I was backed into a corner. I am so messed up. And that therapist – I failed every rehab I ever been to because of therapists. Please, never make me go to another one of those. That almost made me fail us, our marriage.”

“Yeah, I know you’re ‘allergic’ to therapists, but didn’t know what else to try anymore. We couldn’t talk anymore, you and I. So, in a messed-up way, he did fix that. And Stryker; thank you for wanting to stay. Thank you for staying. The Phoenix will rise yet again, Stryker.”

“Ha, after the turn our day took, this Phoenix is soaring high, because of you, flipping off the flames that wanted to consume it. Good gawd girl, to think I almost lost you.” Stryker still sounded shaken.

“But you didn’t. We got this. I love you.” Sophie smiled.

“I love you more. Always will.” Stryker told her sincerely.

“You better, you’re not gonna find someone this patient to put up with all your bullshit.” Sophie giggled.

Laughing, Stryker kissed her.
Both knew they would be all right.
It would take a lot of work and effort, but both realized what they had was worth fighting for, both knew they would make it.
Both knew they had managed to weather yet another big storm, both knew there would be others, but with the right views and foundation, they would always make it.

***

The new and much improved Hayes Estate: