Chapter 480) Objects In The Rear View Mirror

“They say if the love is true, then it’s easy. But that’s false. Love is complicated. It’s sticky. It’s bliss and it’s a mix of emotions. It’s not easy.”

― Dominic Riccitello

Chestnut Ridge

Laughing about something, what it was escapes my memory, while Jack casually had his arm around me, his hand barely touching my hip, very unusual for us, as Jack was the quiet loner type, not easy to get to know, even harder to get close to, but an amazing teacher in all things that really matter in life. He was at least 10 years older than me, too. Alas, for those of you imagining some fiery passionate nights in his cabin, I am sorry to disappoint. 100% platonic, except for that one little kiss that one time. No more since. Even his hand on my hip was more implied rather than actual physical contact.

As we headed down Main Street, I heard my name called.

Not Aria, like I told everyone around here, but Aria-Grace.

I froze, and my eyes nearly fell out of my head when I saw him hurrying towards us.

“Max?! What the actual …” I exclaimed in complete and utter disbelief, I felt Jack’s posture stiffen next to me as he removed his hand, while Max arrived in front of us now, me staring at him as if he were a ghost.

“Aria-Grace. What a surprise to find you here …” Max says in his distinguished Henfordian accent, while measuring up Jack, who is glaring at him, but per usual, says nothing. UGH! I guess I have to be grateful that Max refrained from kissing me, not on the lips, or as more recently on the cheeks. Still no thanks right now. Yikes.

“Umm, what are you doing here?” I ask with genuine and unbridled surprise.

Seriously, what?! What the actual fuck was a Count of Henfordshire doing in this one-horse town?! Well, actually the one thing they had plenty of around here were horses. Just everything else lacked big time. Me being here is strange AF, but Max? Here? Nah. Very funny, fate, you are simply hilarious as you take what is left of my life and sanity and just flush it down the toilet.

“I am here for the horse show, surprisingly they have some of the most exquisite horses for sale here, some rare gems among all those Quarterhorses and such pedestrian breeds, but I saw in the program this year that there was a descendant of the last breeding of Cromwell Stables before it all … ended. I very much intend to inspect that one further.” Max told me, but while speaking, his eyes went to Jack.

Not surprisingly, Jack said nothing.

Neither did I. I was too much in shock. This could not be happening.

“William and Victoria are back home. Had I known I would run into you here, I would have brought them. I am certainly as surprised as I am delighted. Would you have dinner with me? You look … different. An interesting look on you.” Max rambled on, clearly elated to have run into me. I wasn’t.

“Please stop!” I begged him, my voice subdued.

“Sorry, who are you?” Jack now asked. No, he demanded. Don’t mistake Jack being quiet so much for shyness. That man had the balls, just usually didn’t care enough.

Max raised an eyebrow, while I was frantically shaking my head at him.

“I am Maximilian Edward Henry Cromwell, Count of Henfordshire and Aria-Grace’s husband. Father of her two children. And you would be?” Max said plainly, yet possessively, while extending his hand for Jack to shake, which of course he didn’t.

The only movement Jack made was to shift his glare from Max to me now. Oh man, I could literally feel his eyes on me. And it didn’t feel good. I felt naked, exposed and like a liar. Probably because – umm, I don’t know – I was a liar. Oh, my life is just AWESOME these days. ARGH!

I couldn’t look at Jack, felt too ashamed, but in my peripheral vision saw Max was also expectantly staring at me, which made me shameful as well, yet his enthusiasm for oversharing seemed to have seized. So, I had to try and save the moment.

“We’re in the middle of a divorce … really long story.” I mumble as if that would change anything now.

Jack shook his head, huffed dismissively, turned on his heels and headed towards where we left the horses, his strides long and speedy.

Turning back to Max, every emotion I currently felt was in my few words for him.

“That wasn’t fair! Why did you do that? You could see this wasn’t a good time for your peacocking!”

“Fair? Peacocking? Hardly! You are still my wife, Aria-Grace. I didn’t want this divorce, YOU did. YOU are breaking up our beautiful family and our love. I didn’t fall out of love with you, I still very much love you as I always have, you fell out of love with me, for reasons beyond my control. You never gave me a chance to right whatever wrongs you think I have done to you! You just threw it all away. And until the divorce is final, I will make my presence known when I see you strolling with another man!” Max’s tone sounded hurt too.

I said nothing anymore, for I was out of words. I felt guilty times two, everything felt screwed up and somehow like that was my fault. Poor Jack! Poor Max! Poor me!

I just couldn’t deal with Max, he was wrong, I had NOT fallen out of love with him, but with the kind of life that came with loving him. That fact made this divorce a lot harder, so I could NOT stand there and try to make sense of things I myself had a hard time grasping. Falling out of love was tough, but leaving a man you still love is next level hard. I would know, I have done it twice now. First Rohan, now Max. And why lie, I admit that I cared way too much about Jack, I didn’t mean to, but I did, well aware that he and I had no future. Still, my heart was invested. Yeah.

So, I left poor Max standing there and just ran after Jack, hoping he hadn’t left or if he had, that he at least had left Sorrel for me so I could get home. Umm. To HIS home, I mean.
I let out an audible sigh of relief to find her golden coat reflecting the sunlight in that special way I always found relaxing.

By the time I reached Jack’s cabin, Trapper was eating hay peacefully, so I ‘parked’ Sorrel next to him, then hurried inside.

The place was a shoebox, so finding Jack wasn’t hard. He was right by the door at the tiny table, eating.

“Jack …”

“Did you rub down Sorrel?” he asked in mid-bite.

Of course his mind would be with the horses first.

“Jack, let me explain …”

He grunted, then headed outside, straight to Sorrel, and started taking the saddle off and rubbing her down, so I followed him, still trying to explain myself.

“Jack, I was gonna tell you about everything. It’s so complicated. Jack, please listen to me.”

“Half of which you said so far was a lie. Even your name, Aria – GRACE …” he said, over-enunciating my second name, and his words hurt me, as did that he didn’t even stop what he was doing, nor turn around to me.

“Jack!” I held on to his arm, and he froze.

We both did.

Jack moved first, tossing his cleaning brush into a box, slapping Sorrel on her butt so she trotted off, while Jack turned to me, a fiery expression in his eyes.

“Your car has been ready for days. I think you should leave. Get your things and I can guide you to the highway, for out-of-towners it gets confusing at the junction, I’ll ride ahead.”

“Please Jack, let me explain!”

“Explain what exactly? Do you think I do not know who that was? Do you think we are such country hicks that I would not know who Aria-Grace Cromwell is? I didn’t know exactly what you looked like, so it was easy to play me. Now that I do know who you are, I have no room in my life for someone like you.” Jack said, never raising his voice, but his tone told the tale. He was upset.

“Someone like me?” I had to ask. I knew what he meant, but I needed to flag it.

“Celebrities belong in big cities, not here. We like a peaceful life. Your husband found you here, when you clearly didn’t want him to. What do you think happens when the press and fans find out you are here? You need to go. Pack and leave!” he ranted, then turned and walked off. Again. ARRRRRGH!

While he wasn’t wrong, and while I had always known that whatever this was, this break from reality, I knew it couldn’t last forever. I knew all along that there was no way to keep this up. But the end came too abrupt.

“Jack, let me explain everything.”

“No need. I got the gist of it.”

“No, you only scratched the surface and think you figured me out. There is so much more …”

“Aria, I don’t care! I am not ‘Dear Abby’, I don’t want to figure out your problems for you. I get it, you needed a distraction. Now it’s time for you to leave. It’s already gotten dark, but the highway is lit up, suggest turning the radio on high to keep you awake, it’s several thousand miles till you get to a town big enough that you would consider it civilization. One with a Starbucks. Isn’t that what you rich people like?”

“Jack, I don’t want to leave. I like it here, with you. And what about Sorrel’s foal. We agreed I was gonna stay till after the birth.”

“Your husband owns some of the best horses in the world. Do you know what people pay in stud fees for his stallions? I suggest you go visit him to see foals. You won’t be doing it here. You are no longer welcome here, Aria.” his tone was filled with determination.

I couldn’t keep my eyes from welling up, but was too proud to have him see me cry over him, so I ran back into the house, through a veil of tears I packed my bags, hauled them out the door in a very unladylike manner, dumped them into the trunk of my car.

Before getting into the driver seat, I halted, then headed back over where Jack was. I could see his stance change as he let out an annoyed sigh, but I passed him. Yeah, psyche, buddy!

Instead of him, I hugged Sorrel, who felt like a friend to me, my only friend in the whole world in this very moment. I cried into the mare’s neck as I rubbed it.

“Bye beautiful. Hope your foal will be just like you. I love you, sweet horsie. I will never forget you. Thank you for helping me heal.” I kissed her neck, then turned and nearly ran to my car, sniffling.

“Aria – wait!” Jack called after me.

Was he … was he going to ask me to stay? I froze, expectantly, when I saw him saddle and mount Trapper, his horse, then trot towards me.

“Said I’d guide ya. Same way we take to town, except where we turn right, go straight. I’ll be next to you to show you how to go after. HEEYA!” he called out and Trapper neighed as he started to canter down the road.

One last glance over at Sorrel, fighting my tears, so I could see where I was driving as I started the engine and steered my car down the road, following Jack on Trapper, who had a pretty decent speed. Jack really couldn’t wait to get rid of me, I suppose.

At some point Jack stopped and gestured, so I pulled over.
He gave me simple instructions from here, then without any balmy greetings, let alone a hug or something, he fell back again, but didn’t ride off.

“Jack!” I called out, as I was getting out of the car, holding my straw cowboy hat out to him.

“This is yours. I won’t need it where I am going. As a matter of fact, I need to look little less country again.” I said, my tone neutral, but my feelings weren’t. I felt like falling to my knees sobbing, but instead I wore what was left of my pride as a mask.

Jack rode back over to me, took the hat and affixed it somewhere on his saddle, while I pulled some clothing out of the trunk of my car, slipping them on, then let down my hair and arranged it in the most civilized way possible. It was too dark to try applying makeup, that would have to wait until the next stop I would have to make to get gas.

Starting my car again took a lot of strength, but watching Jack and Trapper get smaller and smaller in my rear-view mirror hurt like I cannot describe.