Chapter 124) When Love And Hate Collide

I don't wanna fight no more, I don't know what we're fighting for
When we treat each other, baby, like an act of war
I could tell a million lies and it would come as no surprise
When the truth is like a stranger, hits you right between the eyes
When divided we stand, baby, united we fall
Without you
Can't stop the hurt inside
When love and hate collide

Del Sol Valley
Cameron Mansion

“Wow, this has to be the first time we have been alone with each other in forever. Feels kinda strange, doesn’t it? As if we were doing something naughty just by standing here.” Blaine addressed the elephant in the room. Vivien was being picked up to go back home with Scarlett, Blaine’s parents were out with friends and Bristol was next door at the Camore’s home, spending time with her best friend Cheyenne.

“Well, if it makes you feel better, we’re not alone. Our beautiful daughter is right there.” Scarlett’s voice was soft as butter, as both watched the little girl play a little bit away from them through the open doors to her upstairs bedroom, decorated with great love and care, showing how precious that little girl was to everyone here.

“Our daughter. Ha. Doesn’t saying or hearing that sound strange to you, too? Not something I ever thought we would ever as much as even theorize about, let alone have.“ Blaine sighed.

“Agreed. But we did some great work there, say what you will about us as a couple, or even as individuals, but that baby we did right, Blaine. Circumstances may not be ideal, but no regrets whatsoever.” Scarlett said, her tone gentle and appreciative.

“Yeah, may have not been made intentionally, but definitely was made with passion and love.” he said, frowning at his own candor, it earned him a quick side-glance from Scarlett, but she didn’t comment on it, which he was grateful for. Yikes, awkward filter fail again.

Silence fell between them for a while as they stood by, observing the little girl fully engrossed in her make-believe world of play, until Scarlett cleared her throat, then said

“Hey … since we are finally alone for a moment and sorta on topic, I wanted to say that I am really sorry for hurting you the way I did. I never meant to. I really just wanted the best for you, I thought I was only sacrificing myself. I had no idea it would hurt you this much. But on the bright side – look, it all worked out for you in the end.” she said, but regretted it when Blaine’s head snapped around to her, his glare promising one of his infamous anger outbursts.

“It worked out for me?! Worked out for me?!?! It worked out for me, all right, but it’s not what I wanted, not like you ever stopped to ask about that! I wanted YOU, Scarlett, but you didn’t give a shit, YOU decided for the both of us, walked away, left me by the wayside like a sack of trash, zero fucks given about what was happening to me. We could have had all this, you and I, all this – YOU and I and our daughter. You broke me so bad, Scarlett, so don’t go talking about wanting what’s best for me! You did YOU, sacrifice, my ass! The only sacrificial lamb in all this was ME! You burned me so badly.

I couldn’t help but fall for Bristol all over again, deeper than ever, not after the way she was there for me, the way she picked up the pieces of me and patched them back together patiently. God, she was so patient with me, like a saint, I was the worst mess, in really bad shape. There is no kinder person you will ever meet than her, despite of everything I put her through once, all because of YOU. Because of YOU I hurt such a beautiful angel, because I loved YOU so much, I chose YOU, and THAT was how you repaid me! You pushed me away and like the angel she is, Bristol was there to catch me, forgave me, and gave me another chance. I had to earn it, but that’s more than fair, and I did earn it, I worked hard to regain her trust, but I did. I am happy now, I am willing to be civil with you because of Vivien, but I refuse to let you sit there spewing lies and bullshit, as if that changed anything or made up for anything. You can stick your apology where the sun don’t shine!” Blaine roared, his voice echoing off the walls of the large upstairs hallway around them.

Scarlett tried still to keep her calm, but her composure was slipping fast when she retorted.

“Whoa! I didn’t realize I was pouring salt into a still open wound or I would have kept my mouth shut! I thought you were long over me, and over what happened, watching you and Bristol like the perfect couple would make anyone think you barely even remember anything about us. Guess I was wrong. Sorry. I just wanted to finally give you an apology you were due. I KNOW I owe you one. I KNOW I messed up, Blaine, I never claimed to be infallible, but I also know I had nothing but the best intentions in mind. I really thought I was doing the right thing for you, thought I was protecting you, setting you free so you get a real chance on life and love, the kind you could never have with me, and I thought that is exactly what happened. I felt the quick ripping off the Band-Aid approach was best. There was nothing malicious or selfish about it, it only ever came from a place of deepest feelings for you! From a place of genuine love, there I said it.” Scarlett tried.

“What am I supposed to do with that now, Scarlett, huh? Tell me! WHAT?! Weren’t done sticking that knife into me and twisting it, huh?

You can wipe your ass with your apology. It’s been over two years since then and other than peeking through windows at me to rub my face in your marriage to Riordan not a sign of you! Not a single peep! Dropped me like a hot potato! Too little, too late! No apologies needed anymore. The time window where that might have made a difference closed a long time ago! And don’t even get me started on the other thing you can’t ever take back, never make up for, namely cutting me out of the first two years of my daughter’s life completely! I lost that time with her, but I know what you are gonna tell me, that you did that for the greater good too, didn’t you? Oh glory be, hail saint Scarlett!

BULLSHIT! I call bullshit. Oh, right, wait, let me guess, that was all somehow my fault as well, big fat bad meanie Blaine would have eaten his helpless, innocent baby daughter alive, had someone told him the truth. Yeah, he can’t handle the truth. You have no concept of what I can handle, Scarlett! I had no idea either, once upon a time, until you left me with no choice but to find out!”

“Hey, calm down, please. Think about Vivien!”

“Vivien is all I ever think about! She could have had both her parents, in the same home, as it should be. I could have been there, watched her grow, inside of you, felt the first kick, the first step, the first word! Now instead she has two homes, two separate families, two mothers and maybe one day two fathers. What the fuck is that, Scarlett!? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!? And honestly, had I not stumbled upon you at Everett Heights, who knows if you would have EVER told me about Vivien! I might have died an old man one day blissfully unaware of my beautiful baby girl, because YOU decided for me, YOU wanted to ‘protect’ me. See a pattern here? You, you, you, you, YOU! There is no room for me in there, never was! SUCH BULLSHIT!”

“ENOUGH NOW! Chill the FUCK out! Believe whatever the fuck you want then. I thought we were getting along well, I wanted to finally apologize, but if you don’t want it, then so be it. I thought you were over this. How was I supposed to know how bitter and sore you still are when all I ever see is either the gimmick of the careless and carefree hunky rock musician or Bristol’s Prince Charming who went from hating kids to father of the year?! Do you even remember the real you?! The REAL Blaine? The one only I know?! DO YOU?! Cos I do and whatever THIS is, is not YOU! And something else: I did not keep your daughter from you to be mean, but because until she was actually born, there was no way to be certain she was vampire or mortal.

And you better believe, were she vampire you would have NEVER found out about her, you are right about that, to save her from all that I had to go through, she would officially have been Riordan’s for all eternity, because if there is one thing I learned the hard way, it is that there is no room in your world for a vampire. Riordan got his ass handed to him trying to fit in and I did too! You are so high and mighty as you accuse me of lying now, when you KNEW full well lies were the only way I could ever even exist in your society, but when it suited you, you were fine with it, yet now you talk down to me for it! You are NOT the only one who was wrecked by this, except I had a baby that needed me to be strong for her! Because her father was too volatile to be considered to be let into the secret until I knew what exactly we were dealing with!”

“Maybe it’s time you two get home, before Bristol gets back. Since you are so fond of the ripping off the Band-Aid approach, just take my daughter and leave now, instead of lingering here, knowing I won’t see her for another week now. At least that way you can just disappear with my little girl. I am so tired of faking your departure thing acting like I am driving you to the airport when all we do is drive around the corner where you teleport off with Vivien while I have to sit there listening to a playlist the exact length it would take to drive to the airport and back. More bullshit that could have been avoided, but now it’s all broken, because of YOU!”

“Okay, fine, we are leaving then. Again, Blaine, I am sorry. Just know you are not the only one who lost everything they ever wanted that day I broke it off with you. I wanted all this too, I wanted you, so badly from the first moment I laid eyes on you, literal love at first sight, I was a goner when you shut the door in my face at Riordan’s home, when we were 15. You asking me to prom was the best day of my life up until then. Our first time, together, at Everett Heights. Blood bonding at the hotel. You do realize that night of the blood bond was probably when we created our daughter, right? Don’t you tell me anything about true love and loss that scars you for life. I am living it daily. But you still don’t understand why we could never make it. You accuse me of hiding behind a veil of lies, when all the time you have known me now, all ten years I had to lie and hide just for us to see each other.

How do you think it would go were we a couple now with a child? HOW, Blaine, HOW?! More lies, bigger lies, ALWAYS lies and the constant fear of being found out, especially with you in the spotlight. And Lord have mercy on us if any reporter would have found out what I really am! My attempt of making vampires a reality using politics was our ONE chance and that was taken from us, but not by me. I put everything I had on one card – for us – and LOST ALL! You act like me being a vampire is like a bad choice of religion, a cult I can leave somehow and be just like you, something I can rub some dirt on, then walk it off and it’s all better. It’s not!

I am so very different from you, TOO different, I could never live the life you and Bri lead. Never. Not even close. I can’t. Do you think I like being all alone? I miss passion in my life, and love, not just the one family gives, I have plenty of that, the romantic kind, our kind, the way only you and I can be when we are together. You know what I mean. Just keep that in mind whenever you get so angry and judgmental with me. Every story always has two sides. I fucked up bad, but I am not the bad guy here. Nobody is. Life’s a tragedy sometimes and we both are the protagonists in this one … both of us cast as victim and villain at the same time!”

They stared each other down for a split-second and then things happened like an avalanche.
Blaine jumped forward, his eyes almost aglow for anger, an innocent bystander would have pegged him as the vampire, not Scarlett, who was pushed backwards, crashing hard against the wall, pinned up by Blaine, when it turned into a passionate kiss that seemed X-rated despite of both of them fully clothed.

“Mommy? Daddy?” a tiny voice interrupted, stopping what appeared unstoppable in its tracks, both sprayed apart, facing away from each other in shame, Scarlett gasping, Blaine breathing hard, both stunned.

“Vivien, baby, we have to go, quickly, wave daddy bye-bye …” Scarlett had recovered first from the shock, grabbed her daughter so quickly as if saving her from a raging fire, a black cloud later both were gone.

Leaving Blaine all alone with his emotional rollercoaster, realizing that he was a man who loved two very different women, equally and irrevocably, unable to choose if given the chance, and sore about the fact that the choice had never been his.